You Get Who You Pay For
by King in Yellow
Summary: A service auction fund-raiser by the students of Middleton High features the chance to bid for a date with a certain red-haired cheerleader. What could possibly go wrong? Drakken knows there must be some way to turn it to his advantage - if Shego doesn't fry him for making the suggestion. Not Best Enemies series. Ch. 9 - The moral of this little story: Caveat emptor!
1. It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Inspired by a challenge at Slashhaven, but departing considerably from the idea.

** It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time**

"What's for breakfast?" Kim yawned as she came into the kitchen. "Or will my nose answer the question?"

"You slept late," her mother gently scolded, "you'd better not be late for school. What does your nose say?"

"Eggs, sausage, and toast. I went to bed late – I had to finish a paper for English Lit."

James Possible looked up from the Middleton Examiner, "There was a big fire in Lowerton last night."

"Was anyone hurt?"

"No, no one hurt. Damaged several buildings in old Lowerton – including the old opera house."

Jim stopped the shoving match with his twin brother long enough to offer the opinion, "Like anyone cares about opera."

"Hush," his mother told him as she set a plate of food down in front of Kim. "That opera house is on the national register of historic places."

"It was designed by Daniel Burnham," James Possible read from the paper. "Opera singers like Nellie Melba, Lillie Langtry, and Enrico Caruso performed there."

"Caruso sang in Lowerton?" Anne asked her husband.

"Touring concerts I imagine, doesn't mention actually doing opera." He looked at his sons. "It was later used for vaudeville. Do the names Eddie Cantor, Burns and Allen, Bob Hope, or the Marx brothers mean anything to you?"

Jim stared blankly at his father.

"What's vaudeville?" Tim asked.

"Life before television," his mother sighed as Kim ate breakfast. "I believe they put in a screen and used it as a movie theater even later."

"You're right about the movies," Jame Possible confirmed after glancing back at the newspaper, "Then, when it was badly run down, struggling rock band would perform there – some of them went on to become famous. There probably aren't many stages outside of New York that have seen the range of talent that have performed there."

Anne smiled and told her sons, "I went there on a date before we were married. I don't remember who was singing, I was too busy telling your father to keep his hands to himself."

"I did no such thing!" James Possible sputtered.

"Oh, dear," Anne smiled innocently. "It wasn't you? Well someone took me there for a concert and got very fresh."

James changed the subject, "They started a restoration a couple years ago."

"Did they get that finished?" Anne asked. "Do they know what started the fire?"

James consulted the paper as the students gathered their books and lunches to leave for school. "Wasn't finished, and was probably under-insured – if it was insured at all. If you were wondering if the restoration was what started the fire, the fire marshal hasn't determined the cause yet."

Kim and twins headed for school without another thought about the Lowerton Opera House.

They would not be allowed to forget it, however. Two members of the board working on the restoration taught at Upperton High. In a frantic phone call that morning when they heard of the damage they decided to initiate some kind of fund-raiser at their high school.

"Better run it by the principal first," Elizabeth Goring warned.

"Of course. Just not sure how much enthusiasm we'll get for an opera house. Lot of these kids have no sense of history. It's not like sports where you can whip up a crowd."

"You're a genius."

"Huh?"

"Competition. We'll challenge Middleton High for who can raise the most. Who's that assistant principal down there… Barker? Parking? Give him a call, say we can whip Middleton in fund-raising the way we whipped them at football and basketball. I don't know if he'll rise to the bait or not – but tell our kids we want to beat Middleton and they'll do whatever it takes."

Elizabeth Goring found the idea so appealing that once the Upperton principal gave his approval to the plan for a high school fund raiser she used a break period to call the Upperton mayor and suggest he make a friendly wager with the Middleton mayor on the outcome of the fundraising, as well as calling the local newspapers, television, and radio stations to tell them about the challenge.

"Listen up, people," Steve Barkin ordered as he paced back and forth on the auditorium platform during the hastily called student assembly the next day. "Fund-raising ideas. We need to beat Upperton. I want to beat them bad. I want to literally grind their bones into dust."

"Dear God," Mrs. Edwards, an English teacher, whispered to Mr. Washburn. "I hope he means metaphorically."

"Probably," he agreed. "But with Steve you can never tell."

The assistant principal had continued his harangue while the two exchanged whispered conversation. "… have heard, the Upperton Museum will loan their second century statue of Isis Caelestis to Middleton for one year if we win, and the Middleton museum loans them El Greco's painting of Saint Joasaph to them them if we lose. I have no idea what either of those two things are – but I don't want Middleton to lose. Pride, people, pride! Now, who has ideas?"

"Sell candy!" someone shouted.

"People are tired of candy," someone yelled back.

"Easter hams," another voice added.

"Not everyone eats Easter ham," Shlomo Shapiro pointed out.

"Those have relatively high overhead," Monique added.

"Overhead?" someone asked.

"You have to buy the product," she pointed out, "and that takes out of the profits. Something service oriented rather than product oriented will have a better margin."

Someone who understood what she was saying shouted, "Car wash!"

"Diversify," Monique suggested. "Some students could do a car wash, but there are other things people want – yard work or spring cleaning, for example."

"What do you charge?"

"Ask for a donation," another voice answered.

"Some people always stiff you. We need to give 'em a price."

"How do you set a price for that?"

"I'll babysit," Kim offered.

Several other students offered babysitting services, or spring cleaning. "We still need to set some kind of hourly price," Mr. Barkin insisted.

Monique had an idea, "Make it an auction."

"An auction?"

"Sure. When it's for a good cause some people will pay a premium."

Brick Flagg, who had been paying little attention to any of the proceedings, snorted, "Maybe the cheerleaders could auction themselves off as dates. I mean, it's not like they have any skills or anything."

"Hope and I both said we'd babysit," Kim point out. "And Crystal said she'd help with a car wash."

Bonnie was even more angry at the remark, "You jocks could offer yourselves as dates… Oh, that's right – no one would pay two cents to go out with you."

"Oh yeah?" Brick shot back, showing more wit than usual.

"Auction the cheerleaders off as dates and we'd raise more money than the basketball and football teams put together."

Brick, having found what he considered a powerful line of argumentation shot back, "Oh yeah?"

"I don't think auctioning people for dates is a good idea," Kim objected.

"Come on, Kim," Bonnie retorted. "You heard what he said, are you going to put up with that—" She was about to offer a term for what she considered Brick's offer, but decided against it with teachers present.

"I said I'd babysit."

"Get real, Possible. Even you could raise more money if you auctioned yourself as a date than you could by babysitting."

"What do you mean, even me?"

"Well obviously, someone would pay more for a date with me – but there might be someone who'd put in a bid on you."

"Someone would pay twice as much for a date with Kim than they would for a date with you," Ron argued loyally.

"Ron," Kim whispered, "don't encourage her."

"Girls would pay more for dates with football players," Brick insisted.

"I… I agree with Kim," Tara said nervously. "I don't know if that would be a good idea."

"I'm not sure—" Mr. Barkin began.

Monique cut in, "If it could be done you would need to keep everything safe and in the open. Someone could contact Middleton merchants. Restaurants might give some dinners for two, or maybe some tickets to the theater or sporting events or something. Make it clear to anyone making a bid this is strictly a fundraiser – absolutely nothing more. And that would only be part of the auction. There'd still be people offering babysitting or housecleaning or other services."

"I could set up computers for someone," Felix offered.

"That's the spirit," Monique said.

"I could cook for someone," Ron added.

"No one – cheerleader or jock – has to offer a date," Monique said firmly. "If Kim wants to babysit—"

"You mean if she's chicken," one of Brick's friends on the team called.

Kim's eyes narrowed.

"Please, Kim," Bonnie pleaded. "You're captain of the squad. We've all been insulted."

It wasn't clear if it was the 'please' from Bonnie or the insult from the football player, but Kim nodded her head towards Bonnie, "I'm in."

"Can I, uh, nominate Monique to be in charge of making sure everything is safe and everything?" Tara asked.

"I nominate Monique to be in charge of everything," Josh Mankey echoed.

Before they left the auditorium to return to classes students wrote their names on slips of paper with what they were willing to do.

Monique drafted a business class to help her. Peterson's Perfect Printing agreed to put together an auction catalog at no cost. It would feature a Peterson ad on the back cover and small Peterson ads scattered throughout the catalog. Monique sent her assistants through Middleton. Merchants donated meals, movie and theater passes, nights of bowling, and other things for dates – and in return received free ads in the auction catalog. It took the promise of a full page ad each, but limo services were found who promised to pick up the student at his/her house first, then take student and 'date' where they were going and home afterwards – leaving the date off first so s/he would not even know where the student lived.

* * *

Brick stood annoying Bonnie by her locker, "Yeah," he said smugly, "some woman will pay big bucks for a chance to go out with the captain of the football team."

"You're awfully sure of yourself, aren't you?"

"Just jealous 'cause I'll raise more money than you? Did you hear there's going to be a dance? The two biggest money makers are going to be crowned king and queen?"

"I heard," she snapped. "What makes you so sure a woman will be paying for a date with you?"

"Huh, what do you mean."

"I mean, a guy could pay more and get the date with you."

"No, that's not possible."

Bonnie sighed, "Have you paid any attention to the rules? Whoever offers the most goes on a date with you. Male or female."

A look of shock and fear crossed Brick's face as the realization slowly filtered in. "No way! I'm not going to do this!"

"Oh, too chicken? Or you finally realize you won't get the kind of bid you're dreaming about?"

Bonnie certainly had heard about the dance and the two biggest money earners being crowned king and queen. She had already launched her own plan to insure she was crowned civic queen at the dance. The opportunity to humiliate Kim slightly was just frosting on the cake. She had to promise a movie date to one of the business students on Monique's team, but he palmed two venues when it was time to draw date settings. Bonnie and her father (who had already promised to put in the highest bid) would be eating at the finest restaurant in Middleton. Whoever put in the winning bid for a date with Kim would join the redhead at Bueno Nacho.

Brick lived his days until the auction in a sense of panic. He wondered if there was some way to catch the plague - at least a mild case of it - in order to remove himself from the bidding.

The promise of Bueno Nacho had nothing to do with Ron working hard to try and earn money for a winning bid on a date with Kim. He had heard her say she wasn't thrilled about the plan and hoped he could spare her from going on a date with some stranger. He wished he had some idea just how high the bidding would go. Certain that Kim would receive the highest bid of any girl in the school he upped his offer of cooking to three offers to cook meals in hopes of becoming the charity king of the dance.

Ron's hope of being able to put in a winning bid for a date with Kim received a setback when news of the Middleton fund-raiser went national. Kim had done favors for a lot of people - some of whom had enough money to put in high bids as a way of thanking her for her help. There were also media outlets willing to bid for both a story on the auction and a chance to interview Kim.

The national attention brought chuckles from a green-skinned woman reading Yahoo news in a rocky lair. "Hey, want a date with the cheerleader?"

Drakken looked up from his workbench, "What?"

"The cheerleader is part of some Middleton auction. You could put in the winning bid and go on a date with Kim Possible."

"Don't be absurd, Shego," he muttered. He paused for a minute, before returning to his labors. "Let me see that, there must be some way to use it to my advantage." He left his work and came over to read the article she had up on the screen.

"It's some kind of charity thing," Shego explained as he read. "I thought they got rid of people on the auction block with the Civil War or something."

"Hmm... You should put in a winning bid."

"What are you talking about?"

"Put in the winning bid. While she's on your date I can steal something I need for my newest project."

"You couldn't steal candy from a baby without me."

"Well I'm not getting any help from you in any other way. She's always stopping my plans and you can't seem to stop her."

Green fire burned around Shego's hands, "I beat her all the time."

"Then why are we here in this lair? It's the ninth in a year. You can't stop her - put in the winning bid and you'll know where she is, so I can get my parts."

"I already told you - you're useless without me. But the big hole in your wonderful plan, if you haven't noticed: Kim Possible is a girl and I'm a woman. You need a guy to put in a bid."

"It doesn't say that in the rules. It is quite clear, you could put in a bid. It's not a real date, it's some charity auction where you get dinner or something with her."

"Okay, problem number three-"

"Three?"

"You're helpless, and I'm a woman, remember? Problem number three - I'm wanted. I show up and put in the winning bid and get arrested for my effort."

"No you won't. Think of who we're dealing with here. If you put in the winning bid Miss Goody-Two Shoes will feel obligated to fulfill the conditions of the auction. She can't call the police until after she's been on the date with you."

Shego thought for a minute, then laughed. "Maybe you're right. She probably would feel like she had to go out for dinner or whatever. I'll bet there'll be some way to humiliate her while we're out... And the surprise when she finds out I'm the highest bidder? This'll be good."

* * *

El Greco did not make a painting of Saint Joasaph. Joasaph appeared on the calendar of Catholic saints for centuries until it was discovered he was actually the Buddha. The Vatican quietly removed him while a few die-hards attacked the Buddhists for stealing the life of their saint and claiming it for themselves.


	2. Sold

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Sold**

The publicity regarding the auction worried Middleton's mayor. The religious wrong might interpret it as human trafficking, and telling them it was for charity would hardly appease them at the next election when some of them opposed the "wicked stage" as fervently as they opposed dancing. He paid a visit to the high school and Monique was called from class to reassure him that any normal person could see that the precautions in place would guarantee everything remained innocent.

The greatest amount of publicity was in connection with Kim, who gave serious consideration to changing her motto since 'she can do anything' was far too open to off-color suggestions. She tried to use legitimate questions from the media to stress there was nothing suggestive about the auction, but a couple of them didn't care what the truth was – it was much more interesting to feed prurient imaginations with visions of cheerleaders being auctioned off to leering perverts.

Most of the students were excited by the level of publicity, they were participating in an event which would receive national attention. Those who were nervous, like Brick and Tara, only grew more anxious. Ron became convinced he didn't have enough to put in a winning bid on Kim. He planned to bid on Pat Williamson, whose date package included two great tickets to Wrestlemania at the Middleton Arena, and suspected he might be bidding against Monique.

One of Monique's assistants, Nate Probic, caused a minor problem by thinking for himself. He reported excitedly, "I got us a professional auctioneer!"

"That's great we… Wait, who did you get? Why didn't you run this past me first?"

"I just had the idea, I mean, everyone in town wants to be part of this, so I called him and he said yes."

"Who said yes? You haven't told me who you asked."

"Colonel Harve."

Monique looked blank, "Who is Colonel Harve?"

"Harve's Livestock Auction Barn. He can do the auction like when sells cattle – you know, 'We got a prize heifer coming up now.' Stuff like that."

Monique closed her eyes and gave a pained sigh, then opened her eyes and reminded Nate, "We're trying for some class in this. Livestock jokes about students are not class."

"But—"

"No buts. Give me an address and phone number for this Colonel Harve, I'm gonna talk with him."

Monique did not want bad publicity, not with the mayor watching her, and 'firing' a volunteer would not be good publicity. She hoped the Colonel would listen to reason.

Monique's argument concerning national media at the auction didn't change the Colonel's mind. "Heck, humor plays great on the tee-vee," he pointed out. She softened him up with the promise that a lot of Middleton's important people would be there, and crude humor was unlikely to bring him consideration for things like estate auctions.

While he was pondering Monique's argument she hit him with the clincher, "Do you have any children?"

"Yep, grandkids too."

"If they were in a charity auction, what would you want the auctioneer saying about them?"

Harve laughed, "Little lady, I think you're gonna win this one. But I'm gonna need a couple sidemen, Steve and Cletus wouldn't clean up for the show you—"

"Cletus? You really have an assistant named Cletus?"

"Don't give me no trouble on what Sis named her kid, okay?"

"Sorry."

"I can't see everywhere at once. I need a couple assistants. You and that kid who asked me, the two of you will do just fine. I want the two of you in Stetsons up on—"

"Stetsons?"

"Black Stetsons. Mine's white. Colonel Harve has an image to uphold. Don't worry, little lady, I'll be fine – no blue jeans for this shindig. You and that fella in Stetsons and I'll keep it family safe – you'll be close enough to poke me with a stick if I get out of line."

Monique smiled, "Thanks you, Colonel. I think this will be a wonderful auction."

"Damn straight. Kinda sorry I won't get to show the folk my livestock spiels."

"Actually… We've got a football player who you could probably describe as a side of beef – or anything else that comes to mind."

Everyone knew the Middleton High gym would be packed. The students going on the block had assigned seats to one side of the stage which had been set up at one end of the gym. The cheerleaders and football players who had volunteered to offer dates were both in uniform. Some of the other students wore clothing appropriate for the services they were offering – Ron was dressed as a chef. The media received space on the other side of the stage. The first few rows of regular seats were reserved for VIP guests.

Monique was there early, trying to insure everything progressed as it should and tripping over Steve Barkin every time she turned around. His idea of help seemed to consist of getting in her way. She had four tables of assistants ready for when the doors opened – an hour before the auction was scheduled to begin. They would check identification and record the information before issuing a number to be used in bidding. Those with numbers for bidding would sit on the chairs on the floor of the gym. The merely curious would be allowed bleacher seats at the sides and far end of the gym.

Students who were in the auction, but planned to bid on other students, received their numbers before the doors opened to the public.

Most of those who had volunteered to be dates had a boy or girlfriend who would be bidding for them. A few optimists hoped to discover someone with a secret crush. The babysitters, dog groomers, yard workers, and house cleaners were largely indifferent as to who would put in winning bids for their services.

Bonnie felt smugly confident. Her dad had promised to go as high as eight thousand dollars and the brunette figured there was no way Kim would receive a bid anywhere near that mark. She had two shills in the audience who had been instructed to run the bid up equal to the bid Kim received. She was a little nervous, however, in that she hadn't seen her father arrive for the auction. Her anxiety increased as the time grew closer to the scheduled hour for the auction to begin and he still wasn't there.

Brick and Tara were probably the most terrified of any of the students waiting to be auctioned. Kim and Ron stood on either side of the blond cheerleader, patted her back, and assured her everything was going to be fine. The way everything was arranged guaranteed she would be perfectly safe in any situation. There would be a driver with her, supervision at the restaurant, and the driver would keep an eye on her on the way home.

"Besides," Ron said optimistically, "top bidder will probably be someone you know here from school."

"Do you think he's right?" Tara asked Kim.

"How often is Ron ever right? But he could be. You have a lot of friends here at school - it will probably be someone you know. Maybe someone with a crush on you."

There might have been one student even more frightened than Brick or Tara, but he wasn't going to be auctioned. The thought of standing in front of a gym filled with a couple thousand people had left Nate Probic so terrified he hoped he didn't wet his pants while assisting the Colonel.

Bonnie's earlier confidence began to wither as the minutes ticked away until the start of the auction and she still hadn't seen her father arrive.

At three o'clock Mr. Barkin went to the lectern and addressed the crowd, asking everyone to find a seat, thanking the Upperton and Middleton mayors - who waved from their seats in the middle of the front row - and some other dignitaries and the media before starting to ramble about the Opera House, and Middleton High, and the rivalry with Upperton, and...

Josh Mankey began to stamp his feet and chant "Monique... Monique... Monique."

Other students waiting to be auctioned followed him and even Mr. Barkin proved able to take a hint. "And now, the young woman who really organized this auction, Monique Grant."

Monique stepped to the microphone only long enough to say, "The organizing is over. Let's have a round of applause for the man of the hour, Colonel Harve."

The Colonel came forward in a white suit, with mother-of-pearl buttons on his western-styled shirt and wearing a black string tie. He smiled and tipped his hat, "This little lady knows how to get to the point," he told the audience as he gestured toward Monique. "I believe she's even carryin' a stick to poke at me if I need the point as well... You bring that stick like I told you?" he asked Monique. She shook her head 'no'. He pulled a short pointer out from his jacket pocket and handed it to her as the crowd laughed. "We've got a lot of the finest young men and women of Middleton who're here to raise money to help restore one to the great landmarks of the tri-city area. I'm expectin' a lot of bids this afternoon, so let's get this goin'. First up we've got Bruce Andrews who'll be doin' yard work - spends summers workin' with a landscaper so he knows what he's a doin'."

"How'd you know that?" Monique whispered to Harve as Bruce hurried to the stage.

"Did my homework," he whispered back. "Get twelve percent higher bids if you know your stuff."

"You really are good."

"Damn straight. A degree from Yale Business means something."

Monique saluted.

Students with special skills like plumbing or who knew their way around an auto engine were in short supply and usually brought in the two to three hundred dollar range, with the son of one local mechanic bringing seven hundred with a promise to rebuild an engine. There was more demand for babysitters than volunteers for babysitting, which drove their bids higher than the usual Middleton market value and they averaged around eighty dollars for a night's work.

There were so many football players available for dates that they were difficult to sell and the Colonel had to drop his usual opening asking price of fifty dollars down to forty in order to move a couple of them. Three girls got into a bidding war for a good-looking wide receiver with cute dimples and dinner for two at a very nice Italian restaurant and he brought one hundred and seventy dollars.

Brick had trouble drawing a bid. His sexist remarks had angered many of the girls in the school, and word went out that any girl who bid on him would likely be given the cold shoulder by the female population of Middleton High. His reputation as a homophobe made a couple gays consider bidding for him just to see him squirm - but winning would mean actually having to spend an evening with him, and no one wanted to spend money just to stand Brick up. The 'date package' for the quarterback consisted of tickets to a concert by Trampled by Turtles and Ha Ha Tonka with coffee afterwards at Gothic Brew.

"Look at the muscles on this prime piece of beef," Colonel Harve pointed out to the audience, and patted Brick on the arm. "Strong as an ox."

"And almost as smart," Bonnie shouted from the student section.

"Can I get an opening bid of thirty dollars?"

"Here," Alex Saphic, called and showed her number.

Crystal leaned forward and whispered in Jessica's ear, "Isn't she a lesbian? What does she-"

"Indie music," Jessica whispered back. "Not bidding on Brick, just the tickets."

Cheerleaders were in short supply in relation to demand. Hope, the first to be auctioned, did a cartwheel onto the stage, raised her pom-poms in the air and shouted "Go Middleton! Support the Opera House!" A senior with deep pockets and a poor complexion put in a winning bid of five hundred and thirty dollars to go bowling with her. Crystal's parents hadn't really liked the idea of the auction. She was the least expensive of the cheerleaders since most people didn't want to bid against her parents and Crystal, and dinner for two at the Bangkok Gardens, went to her mother for two hundred and ten dollars.

Louise's Bake Shop bid five hundred dollars for a mural by Josh Mankey as the auction slowly moved down the alphabet towards the letter P.

"We've got a matchin' set of geniuses," Colonel Harve announced as Jim and Tim Possible came to the stage. "If you're lookin' for genius these two are the only ones who put that in the description of what they're willin' to do." He looked over at the twins. "Exactly what is it you two boys do?"

"We do anything," Tim told him.

"It's this family thing," Jim explained.

"Science teacher told me you two are really good at blowin' things up."

"It's what we do best," Jim boasted.

"Yeah, someone wants something blown up, a stump or something, we're great," Tim agreed.

"Sounds like you two offer a lot of bang for the buck." He turned to the audience, "Can I get an openin' bid of one hundred dollars for the demolition duo?"

There were no bidders for the twins explosive abilities, so Colonel Harve reminded the audience "They said they could do anything, well, if no one wants them for explosions I'm sure they could paint, or clean, or do yard work. They're up here for a good cause - now can I get an openin' bid of one hundred dollars. I'm not talkin' apiece - this is for the pair. The only matchin' set of geniuses in the auction."

For 'willing to do anything' there were bids. James and Anne won with a bid for a hundred and seventy dollars for their sons. "They'll clean the garage," James whispered to his wife.

"I think we should have them do the basement," Anne argued.

"We could probably have them do both."

"And now, the little lady I suspect a lot of you are here to see," Harve said as Kim climbed the steps onto the stage. "She's helped out a lot of folk here in Middleton and other places in the world. This is the chance to show her how much she means to the good folk here is Middleton and I'm gonna be real disappointed in Middleton if the chance to eat dinner with her goes for a penny less than five thousand dollars. Now, who'll open the biddin' at one thousand dollars?"

The bidding climbed swiftly. Colonel Harve skipped the usual ten dollar raises because he was getting hundred dollar increases. There were quite a number of people Kim had done favors for in the audience who regarded a bid as a way of saying thanks for her help.

Vernon Paisley, who had given ten thousand dollars to the Upperton High fund drive was at the auction and willing to go that high in Middleton to thank Kim for rescuing him and his CuddleBuddies™ from his out-of-control laser security system.

Limited budgets forced the bidders from three media outlets to drop out around four thousand dollars. Kim recognized the two other bidders who kept bidding as individuals she had helped. At a bid of seven thousand from Mr. Paisley they both dropped out.

Bonnie breathed a sigh of relief when it looked like seven thousand would be the winning bid. She still hadn't seen her father arrive, but the amount necessary to beat Kim's bid was within her budget.

"Last call on the redhead, at seven thousand," the Colonel announced, "Goin' once, goin' twice-"

"Seventy-five hundred dollars," a new, feminine voice announced as a woman in a dark charcoal suit wearing a veil under her broad-brimmed hat showed her number.

"Do I hear seven-thousand six hundred?" the auctioneer asked.

"Eight thousand," Mr. Paisley answered.

"Eighty-five hundred."

"Nine thousand."

"Ninety-five hundred."

"Ten thousand dollars."

"Ten thousand, five hundred," the woman in the dark suit answered.

Colonel Harve looked to Mr. Paisley, who shook his head no, and a minute later the auctioneer announced the woman who held up number three hundred twenty had the winning bid for Kim.

A few people left after the auction for a date with Kim, but most continued on until the end.

As Ron Reger took his turn on stage Colonel Harve told the audience, "Word processin' and data entry. Teacher says he tops the class in key strokes per minute, and I see a bid of one hundred dollars. Do I hear one-ten?"

Monique and Nate hadn't seen the hundred dollar bid, and scanned the crowd when Colonel Harve announced he'd seen a hundred and twenty dollar bid in response to the hundred-ten. The last bid Monique had seen was a hundred and seventy as the Colonel announced going once, going twice, sold at one eighty.

"Who was it?" Nate, who was keeping records on a clipboard, whispered frantically.

"Mister Reger's services in data entry were just purchased by Colonel Harve of Harve's Livestock Barn," the Colonel announced showing his number to Nate and the crowd. "Been so busy old Harve a bit behind in record keepin'. The Colonel is available for other auctions and has, on rare occasion, even been known to volunteer for a good cause."

"I didn't think the auctioneer was allowed to bid," Monique whispered.

"The little lady has accused me of breakin' one of the rules of good auctionin'," Harve told the crowd, then turned to Monique. "It's only breakin' the rules if I drive the price up on another bidder. Long as I'm plannin' on winnin' I'm ethical. Course, in a case like that I don't want the other bidders to know I'm a biddin' or they'll run me up."

As soon as Felix maneuvered up the ramp to the stage for his offer of setting up a computer a man shouted out "Fifty dollars."

"I have fifty, do I see sixty?"

As numbers were raised for sixty and seventy the initial bidder waved frantically for attention. "Go see what he wants," the auctioneer whispered to Monique. She ran down into the audience and had a hurried conversation as the bids continued to climb.

Harve was looking for a hundred and thirty dollar bid when Monique raised her hand to get his attention, "Mister Vincent is offering to pay fifty dollars a unit for Felix to set up computers and show people how to use them at the Laurel Oaks Assisted Living Complex. There are fifty units there - so his bid was two-thousand five hundred dollars."

The auctioneer looked at Felix, "How does that sit with you? You up for that?"

Felix called out, "You don't want that all in one day, do you?"

"Can you do it over the next month or so?"

Felix nodded to the auctioneer, "I'm good."

"Well then, do I hear two thousand six hundred?"

No one else bid and George Vincent breathed a sigh of relief. Not only had the contractor told him the charge would be seventy-five dollars a unit but the twenty-five hundred could all be marked as a charitable donation.

Bonnie desperately scanned the audience looking for her father as the bidding began for her date. Her shills were doing a wonderful job of pushing the bids higher and higher. Her father had agreed to go as high as eight thousand. Kim had brought more than ten thousand. Would her father go higher? What if one of her shills offered what had been the winning bid for Kim? If her father wasn't there the friend making the bid would have to admit he didn't have the necessary money and Bonnie would suffer public humiliation.

The brunette was almost feeling physically ill as the bidding topped nine thousand and kept climbing.

"Eleven thousand," a well-dressed man in his early thirties announced. Bonnie had never seen him before in her life and felt a mingled sense of relief and worry as Harve pronounced eleven thousand the winning bid.

Stories of Ron's cooking prowess had spread enough for three bids of eight hundred dollars, all from businesses wanting a special occasion meal.

Tara had the look of a deer caught in the headlights of an on-coming car as she went onto the stage. She was the last cheerleader and bids were coming in fast for the blue-eyed blond. Ron and Kim watched nervously. Two men were bidding and Tara was only looking more frightened.

Ron breathed a sigh and spoke up, "Four-fifty." His follow-up bid of four-seventy was the highest. He hated spending that kind of money, but the look of gratitude Tara gave him took out much of the sting. He glanced over at Kim who smiled and nodded at him.

With Ron having spent his money for a date with Tara, Monique managed to snag the Wrestlemania tickets for much less than she expected.

"And that ends our auction," Monique began as Trelawna Young drew a seventy dollar babysitting bid. "Thank you for-"

"Not quite," the Colonel said. "Two hundred dollars if I can get a kiss on the cheek from each of my two lovely assistants."

Harve took off his Stetson and the photographers snapped away as Monique and Nate kissed the grinning auctioneer at the same time. The photo would make the front page of the local section in the newspaper and appeared on Yahoo News.

"Students will meet with buyers to arrange time for their services as soon as the auction is over," the Colonel announced. "Those of you with winnin' bids need to pay before you leave. And the auction ends now!"

The media scrambled for interviews with some of the students and those with winning bids. The woman in the dark suit waved away all attempts to ask her questions. A crowd of well-wishers and reporters delayed Kim as she tried to make her way towards the woman who had placed the bid for her.

Brick sighed, Alex never wore makeup and dressed more like a guy than a girl, but at least she was female. She'd probably been hot for him for years. Maybe he'd do her a favor and pretend to like her when they went out.

Bonnie looked around nervously for the stranger who had placed the winning bid for her as several people offered their congratulations to her for becoming civic queen and raising so much for the Opera House restoration. She did appreciate the two reporters who asked her what it felt like. She was careful not to mention Kim's name as she answered - it would look too much like gloating. It was much better if the newspaper readers and television viewers realized she had beaten Kim without needing to be reminded of the fact. Bonnie hoped it might even make her appear humble - although she had never understood why humility was considered a virtue.

Tara clung gratefully to Ron's arm as he gathered details for a retirement party for a long-time employee, a birthday party for a business owner, and the final dinner for a marketing strategy conference.

"I'm sorry I'm such a baby," she whispered and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for bidding for me."

"Hey, it was scary for everyone except Kim," Ron assured her. "Nothing scares her." He was unaware of the lipstick print on his cheek. Seeing Ron with the pretty blond attached to his arm and the lipstick on his cheek made several guys wish they had bid more for Tara.

Kim managed to politely shoo away the last of the well wishers and found the stranger in the dark suit. "Hello, I'm Kim Possible, and you are?"

"Don't be so formal, Pumpkin," Shego said, raising her veil. "We've known each other a long time."

"Shego!" Kim hissed and took a defensive stance.

"Not so loud, Princess, tonight I'm just… Sorry, you'll have to let me check the fake ID I used to put in the bid. I'm not sure what my name is for the auction."

"You're a criminal!"

"And highest bidder."

"I'm calling the police. I'm taking you in."

"Before our date? Drakken figured you had too much honor to back out of the deal once you'd promised to go out on a date with the winning bidder. I guess you could just put in the ten grand yourself."

"You honestly bid for me?"

"Please, Princess, don't use the word honest. Of course I did. Which reminds me - I'd better fulfill my promise." She opened her purse and took out two bundles of hundred dollar bills, then broke open a third and counted out five. Kim could see there was even more money in the handbag. "You went cheaper than I expected," Shego told her before going over to throw down the money on one of the tables near the door. Kim watched carefully, waiting for Shego to try and steal the money raised by the auction. One student counted the money while a second recorded it had been paid and a third wrote out a receipt and gave it to Shego with a sincere thanks.

"I thought you were going to steal the money," Kim admitted when Shego returned.

The green woman smiled. "I hadn't thought about your paranoia. You figure there's some kind of a trap-"

"Of course there's some trap."

"Absolutely. But you don't know what it is - it's going to drive you crazy. Of course, if you're not up to matching wits with me you could always give me back the money I just paid and-"

"You can't beat me! You paid for dinner with me, you'll get dinner."

"So where are you taking me?"

Kim looked puzzled, "Didn't you buy an auction catalog?"

"That tacky souvenir they tried to sell me when I got here? Of course not. I heard a lot of good restaurants mentioned by the auctioneer though. Where are we going?"

"The auctioneer mentioned really good restaurants to increase bids. The catalog said the date with me was dinner for two at Bueno Nacho."

"Bueno Nacho? Ten grand for bad beans and fake cheese - and having to put up with your plastic cheerfulness? No fucking way!"

"That was what you paid for. Of course, if you want to back out you can. Hey, you get to take it off your taxes."

"You think I pay taxes? I want my money's worth. I paid for you and-"

"You didn't pay for me; you paid for a date with me."

"Same difference."

"No, it's not."

"Whatever," Shego said. "Now, when are we going to have this crappy meal so we can both get it over and on with our normal lives?"

Kim tried to figure out what was happening as she and Shego set the next Saturday for their dinner date. Shego hadn't tried to lure her to an obvious trap site, nor had Shego insisted on a particular schedule which could give Kim a hint as to what Drakken might be planning. The fact Shego seemed almost as unhappy about the arrangement as Kim suggested that it was one of Drakken's plans and not Shego's idea.

The cheerleader was right about one thing, Shego was not as unhappy about the arrangement as Kim. Shego figured that Kim would go crazy worrying about what Shego was going to try, assuming the green woman would attack at any moment, when she was actually just a diversion to keep Kim occupied while Drakken stole what he needed for himself. Thinking about how the upcoming date would claw at Kim's imagination gave Shego comfort.


	3. After the Auction's Over

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**After the Auction's Over**

Some of the regular boy or girlfriends of those whose auctioned as dates saw the chance of riding in a limo as part of the attraction of the package. However, as word got around that while the limo service would schedule a limo and a time without charging for their services it would still be appropriate to give a reasonable tip to the driver some parents were willing to sign waivers releasing the limo service from its promise for that date.

Anne and James decided that bidding on the matched set of geniuses for themselves might have been a mistake. After volunteering their services they might have cheerfully, or at least grudgingly, worked for a stranger, but the twins had too much experience dodging their regular chores to start cleaning the garage and basement the way their parents wished.

Bonnie was nervous as she dressed before her 'date'. Richard had said nothing about himself other than his name as they had set the details for their dinner. She had no idea what had kept her father from the auction – he had refused any explanation other than a 'Sorry, busy at the office', and despite the size of her ego she still wasn't certain why Richard had been willing to go as high as eleven thousand dollars. Bonnie called the phone number Richard had given her as the limo pulled up in front of his apartment building and he came out to the car.

A photographer from the newspaper and camera crew from the local television station were there when the limo pulled up to the restaurant to record Richard holding out his hand to help Bonnie step out onto the curb. They each gave a sound byte for the evening news and went inside.

"Rockwaller party," Richard told the maitre d'.

"This way," the hostess told Bonnie. The brunette assumed Richard was following her, but Mr. Rockwaller sat at the table the hostess showed her and when Bonnie turned around she discovered her 'date' had vanished.

Her father laughed at Bonnie's expression.

"Who was he?" Bonnie demanded after sitting at the table.

"New man in research, we hired him about two months ago."

"Why did you have him make the bid? Why didn't you tell me?"

Her father raised an eyebrow, "You didn't figure that out what was happening? I'm a little disappointed in you, Bon-Bon."

"How was I supposed to… Oh, wait… It looks better if a stranger is willing to bid that high rather than family, is that it?"

Mr. Rockwaller laughed, "I always told you – most people have no idea about the truth, so ninety-eight percent of them will settle for appearances."

Ron borrowed his mother's car to take Tara out for their dinner date. When he rang the doorbell at the Strong house Tara's mom opened the door and gave him a big hug and told him to step inside – it would be a couple minutes until Tara was ready.

Tara's dad shook his hand and told him how happy Tara was and thanking him for his bid. Mrs. Strong volleyed back with an invitation to eat dinner with the family in two weeks.

"Uh, sure," Ron agreed. "You don't have to do—"

"Nonsense," Mr. Strong told him. "You made our little girl so happy, it's the least we can do."

Tara looked radiant as she danced down the stairs, took Ron's arm and laid her head on his shoulder, "I'm ready."

During the meal Ron talked about how much work he'd have to do for the first dinner he was supposed to prepare. Tara offered to help. Ron said she didn't need to. She responded by reminding him of how grateful she was that he'd saved her at the auction.

After dinner Ron drove her home. "Aren't you going to walk me to the door?" she asked in a disappointed voice when Ron stopped in the driveway and didn't turn off the engine.

"Uh, sure," he agreed.

"I'm so glad you bid for me," she told him again as they reached the door. "Did you have fun tonight?"

"Yeah, I had—"

She hit him – with her lips.

After a second of shock Ron pushed her away, "You don't have to kiss me. The whole date thing was for charity."

Tara looked hurt, "You didn't want to kiss me?"

Ron stood for a second with his mouth hanging open. He should tell a beautiful blond that no, he didn't want to kiss her? And he certainly didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Thanks again, Ron," she told him in a breathy whisper when the kiss finally ended and she went into the house.

* * *

"I'm supposed to have dinner with the cheerleader at six-thirty," Shego reminded Drakken. "You really think you can pull off a robbery without me?"

"Theft is easy," he assured her, "a half-wit can steal things." He didn't notice as her hands glowed green. "The biggest problem has always been interference from Kim Possible, and if you can't beat her in a fight at least you can keep her occupied with—" Fortunately he noticed the ball of plasma aimed at his head and ducked in time. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded," he shouted from his place of safety beneath a workbench.

Shego needed her own transportation to return to Middleton, so there seemed no point in Kim using the limo service.

Kim assumed Shego would be late, just to annoy her – if the green woman ever showed up at all - and made no effort to arrive early. Shego, on the other hand, assumed that if she were late Kim would immediately declare the date forfeit so arrived a little early.

"Anxious to see me?" Kim asked in as close to a sarcastic tone as she could muster when she arrived and found Shego waiting for her.

"You're late," Shego sneered. "I keep my promises – looks like someone else has a little trouble keeping hers."

Kim checked her watch, "It's six-thirty now. I'm exactly on time."

"Your watch is slow."

"Check your watch."

"I don't need to check my watch to know you're late."

"I'm not late!"

"Frankly, Princess, proving you wrong isn't worth my time. Let's just eat and get this over with."

"Fine."

"Fine… How does this work?"

Making sure there was space between them in case Shego attacked, Kim cautiously pulled out a gilt-edged coupon. "A double Puerco Special."

"Puerco Special?"

"I think it's all the pork we can eat. Maybe that or we can make pigs out of ourselves."

"God save us all from Bueno Nacho… You've eaten at this dump, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Is there anything you can recommend?"

"Well… The pulled pork salad only has fifteen hundred calories and—"

"Fifteen _hundred_ calories?" Shego asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, and there's actually a little lettuce under the guacamole, sour cream, refried bean, half a pound of cheese, and pulled pork."

Shego looked disgusted, "And it's iceberg lettuce too, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't we just get this farce over, Pumpkin?"

"Sounds good to me."

The two women did not go immediately to the counter to place their order. Shego stood back a few feet, scanning the menu board displayed over the workers, hoping desperately there were better options than the horror Kim had just described. While Shego was trying to choose the Kimmunicator went off. "What's the sitch?" Kim barked.

Shego knew instantly what had happened, Drakken had screwed up without her there to help him and Kim was being called to capture him. "I'm going with you," she told Kim firmly.

"No you're not," Kim shot back.

"Who's that?" Wade asked.

"Yes, I am," Shego argued.

"No, you're not," Kim repeated.

"We've got a situation!" Wade called. "Who's that with you?"

"Shego."

"Shego?"

"The mystery woman at the services auction, remember?"

"Shego's really there?"

"Come on, Wade, you're a genius. It's some kind of trap – and the situation you're calling about must be what she and Drakken set up."

"Hey, I'm going with her to see there's really a situation," Shego lied. "I figure this is all an act so she can weasel out of the meal she owes me." Shego didn't actually give Kim credit for that much imagination and assumed she would need to save Drakken's ass when Kim arrived to stop him.

"We really don't have time for this," Wade told the pair. "Kim, not even sure if you can help, but there's a sight-seeing cable car with people inside stuck over a place called Devil's Gorge. They tried something to help and it only made things worse. They'd like you to look things over and see if you've got any ideas."

Shego gave Wade credit for coming up with a story that sounded plausible on the spur of the moment rather than just admitting Drakken had been spotted.

"I'm coming with you," Shego said again.

"Fine," Kim conceded. "We don't have time for this." If there was a problem she needed to try and help. If Wade was falling for a fake story from Drakken she'd have to fight Shego – but Kim had assumed that would happen since Shego placed the winning bid in the auction.

Meanwhile, in a research facility far, far away a blue man in a lab coat wandered the hallways puzzled by his inability to find the lab of Doctor Vaber. Unfortunately the radio program which had alerted Drakken to Doctor Weber's work had not bothered to spell the name out or explain Germanic pronunciation. As he rounded a corner Drakken encountered an angry custodian, armed with a dangerous looking broom. The blue man managed to retreat to the safety of a janitor's closet and pulled the door closed behind him. As he breathed a little sigh of relief he heard a key turn from the outside, locking him in. "Oh, snap!"

"What have you got?" Kim asked as she and Shego arrived at the command center for the emergency crews.

"Upper tower," the sheriff in charge said, pointing across the chasm, "has a cracked arm. We tried to get a helicopter out to the car but the prop wash put even more stress on the cracked arm. That snaps and the car is probably going to the bottom of Devil's Gorge. You got any ideas?"

"Give me a minute," Kim requested.

"Could welding the arm improve the situation?" Shego asked.

"We had hopes," he admitted. "Take a strong man to carry up the equipment and we're scared the weight of man and equipment could snap the arm."

"Okay, Princess," Shego said smugly, "I got it figured out before you could."

"Will a weld actually solve the problem?" Kim asked.

"How's she going to get the equipment up there?" the sheriff asked.

"Oh, I can do anything," the green woman told him.

The sheriff figured Shego was one of Kim's relatives. "A good weld could at least stabilize things. Still don't know how we'll get the people out of there, but at least they'll be safe until morning and give us time to come up with a better plan."

"Could a zip line be set up between the towers?" Kim asked. "I could go out in a safety harness and the passengers could evacuate one at a time, with the harness pulled back for the next one."

"That could work," the sheriff admitted. "How you going to set up a zip line?"

Kim seemed to ignore the question "Which tower has more work space around it?"

"Upper tower, but the broken arm is why we're here, this one's more secure."

"Take the passengers to the upper tower," Shego suggested, "room for the support crew."

"You still haven't told me how you're going to weld the arm or set up a zip line."

Kim turned to Shego, "How're your archery skills? That's probably faster than getting a little remote-controlled copter."

"I'm good with a bow, especially if you're the target." She turned to the sheriff, "I'll shoot an arrow with something light and strong attached, then Kim pulls it across tied to something stronger, then we fasten that to the zip line and pull it across." She turned to Kim, "You got the upper body strength for that?"

"Hope so. I'm on the secure tower. I can have someone up helping me pull. Give me your phone number."

"My phone number?" Shego asked.

"So I can stay in touch."

"I'm kind of choosey on who gets my number. Get his and he'll call up to me."

Green fire lit up the night sky as Shego spot welded the cracked arm and the base crew re-located. The man on the tower with Kim lit a flare to help Shego aim an arrow as he and Kim sheltered behind the huge pylon. The second arrow went over an arm of the lower tower and Kim began pulling on the nylon string. Forty-three minutes later grateful passengers heard a voice outside their gondola, "Hi, I'm Kim Possible, and we'll take you out one at a time."

Kim climbed into the car and a middle-aged woman was the first passenger to don the safety harness and be pulled to the upper tower. Less than a half hour after the first passenger left the gondola Kim told the sheriff, over his cell phone, "One last passenger."

"One more passenger," he shouted up the tower to Shego. The green woman felt a now familiar tug on the line and began to pull and a figure hidden by the night reached the safety of the upper tower.

It was Kim, rather than a stranded passenger, who unbuckled herself on reaching the upper tower. "Everyone's safe."

"I thought there was another passenger."

"Just me. I didn't want you burning through the cable or anything."

"And ruin the rescue? Hey, I out-heroed you today."

"You're no hero."

"I know it. Kim Possible got out-heroed by a villain," Shego told her as the two began to climb down the tower. "I thought of the spot weld, I shot the arrow, and I pulled you to safety."

"I'd have thought of something if you weren't here, and I put my life in your hands."

"That wasn't heroic, that was just stupid." Shego glanced down, "Damn, looks like the media got here. I don't want my name used – I got a reputation to uphold."

"So do I, and it's late. Let's leave them with no comment and get out of here as fast as we can."

They said little to each other on the flight back to Middleton. "Thanks," Kim said when they were back on the ground.

"Don't mention it," Shego told her. "And I mean that, really."

"Well, this date was a lot more exciting than I thought it would be."

"Date? You call this a date? Hell, I paid for dinner with you at a crappy faux-Mexican place, I expect dinner with you at a crappy faux-Mexican place." Shego just realized she could get a second distraction of Kim Possible with her bid. If Drakken had pulled off his robbery another evening of distracting Kim would give him the chance for a second. If he had failed, as Shego suspected he had, he would have another chance to fail again which might force him to admit how much he depended on her.

"You really won't count this?" Kim asked.

"Was this dinner for two at Bueno Nacho?"

"No."

"You really would count this? Hey, I paid for you and I expect to get what I pay for."

"Fine," Kim sighed. "But you didn't pay for me. You paid for dinner with me, and you didn't get it." The two of them set up a second time for dinner.

Drakken meanwhile was on his way back to the lair without the device he had hoped to steal. After twenty minutes locked in the broom closet, looking desperately for a tool to help him break down the door and escape before the janitor returned with the police, he discovered that the lock was designed to keep people from getting _into_ the closet and stealing supplies, not to keep supplies from escaping by themselves. He turned the latch beneath the doorknob, unlocked the door and, after checking carefully to insure there were no custodians armed with dangerous brooms lying in wait for him, beat a hasty retreat. He could hear the wail of sirens moving in the direction of the lab as he exited the building and ran for his hovercraft.

At the concert the next night Alex did her best to ignore Brick, "_If he calls me 'Babe' one more time I'm going to punch him,"_ she told herself. She kept trying to maneuver away from him, but apparently he had a fear of hipsters and didn't want to be left alone.

Brick didn't join the applause at the end of the first set. He decided to be generous and put an arm around her waist to show his appreciation, "Hey, sorry the date is such a bummer. Didn't know we'd have to listen to this junk."

Alex had guessed she would punch him for calling her 'Babe', but decided not to wait.

* * *

"So, was Shego the unknown hero with you for that rescue?" Ron asked Monday morning.

"Yeah," Kim told him. "Hard to believe."

"Almost impossible," Ron seconded. "I wondered if, maybe, you like called Mon or something after you ate with Shego."

"No… Actually, she really helped with the rescue."

"Cool. So, your date with her actually went well?"

"No, not exactly. The rescue went well. There wasn't time for whatever trap she and Drakken had planned for me to work. So she didn't call that a date and I've still got to have dinner with her at Bueno Nacho. Hey, how was your date with Tara?"

"It was, uh, good."

"Just good," Kim teased, "she seemed really happy you put in the winning bid."

"She was, uh, really grateful. She even said she's help me with the meals I've got to cook. Heck, even her mom and dad seemed grateful and insisted I have a family dinner with them."

"Glad one of us can go on a date without worrying about a trap," Kim sighed.


	4. Best Laid Plans

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Best Laid Plans**

"Well, how badly did you screw up without me?" Shego demanded when she saw Drakken.

"I'll have you know I was wildly successful," he lied. "Got what I wanted with no trouble."

"At least one of us had a good time then," Shego grumbled.

"Sorry, Shego, but my plan worked perfectly. You kept Kim Possible distracted and I pulled off the robbery."

"Well you'll like this then, Princess failed to eat the meal with me – so she still owes me dinner. Why don't you look down your wish list and find another place to rob?"

Part of Drakken was less than thrilled at the prospect of trying another robbery without Shego, but that would have required he admit his failure in his first effort. There was always the chance he'd just had some bad luck and was rusty from relying on Shego too much. He felt certain he would be more successful on a second attempt.

Late in the week, during lunch, Felix reported he was off to a good start with setting up computers and email accounts for the residents of the assisted living complex, before opening his backpack and bringing out a bag with a couple dozen cookies. "But the old ladies keep baking for me."

"Hey, these are good," Monique commented, helping herself.

"Yupffh," Ron tried to agree with his mouth full. "Wushh whadd ah jubh."

"One cookie in your mouth at a time," Kim suggested.

"I think he was saying I should get it as a job," Felix told the others at the table. "The retired people like me and management said once the installation's done, if they like my work, they'll offer me ten bucks an hour to stop by for a couple hours after school each day for anyone who needs IT help. If no one needs help I can do homework. 'Course it would mean I'd probably get more cookies."

"I think you should take the gig," Monique told him, "but ask fifteen. And get the recipe for these," she waved half a cookie in the air, "this one's great."

To their parents' increasing frustration Jim and Tim remained skillful in avoiding work around the house.

Pat did not want to attend Wrestlemania and gave both tickets to Monique, who called Ron with the good news.

"Rats," he groaned. "I gotta cook that night. Wanna take Rufus?"

"No, I don't want to take Rufus. And I'm not going by myself."

Josh Mankey had one condition, "Can I take my sketch book along?"

"You going to ignore me?"

"Who could possibly ignore such a charming lady? Life study sketches. I might see something for my mural... Tell you what, you let me take the sketch book and I'll not only drive, but I will take you out for coffee and dessert afterward and listen to your dulcet tones with an expression of rapture."

Monique laughed, "You had me at coffee and dessert."

Tara's dad drove her over to Ron's before the first meal Ron was scheduled to cook. Tara had her hair done up in a bun and under a hairnet to keep it out of the way during cooking. "I must look awful," she apologized.

"You look great," Ron assured her.

"Really?"

"Sure, you always look great."

The smile she gave him was radiant. "Thank you."

"We gotta get moving though." Tara wasn't Ron's level in the kitchen, but he assigned basic tasks to her and she learned quickly. Having an extra pair of hands to help with food preparation was a tremendous help.

Kim was waiting for Shego outside Bueno Nacho. "I'm going to have to give you another raincheck," she told the green woman.

Shego wondered what was going on, surely Drakken hadn't had time to screw things up already – but she had faith in the blue man's ability to mess up. "I'll go with you."

"You don't need to."

"Of course I don't need to, but you got Doofus with you?"

"Ron's doing his work for the charity auction. I still don't need you."

"You needed me last time."

"I didn't need you last time."

"You saying you could have done it without me?"

"Well, I couldn't have done what we did. Okay, you were great in what you did, but I'd have figured something—"

"I'm willing to stop with you admitting I was great. So, what are we doing this time – some problem on the space station or something?"

"Some crazy person started letting animals out at the zoo. They asked me to—"

"Animals, as in lions and tigers and bears, oh my?"

"There were two lions and a rhino out, but I think they're all back in custody. The problem is that everything in the primate house was set free. Come on, if you're going to help me we got to move."

Shego hesitated for a second. If Kim wasn't going after Drakken the cheerleader should handle the chimps and monkeys all by herself and Shego didn't need to bother. On the other hand, Kim could be going after Drakken and not telling the truth. On the third hand, this could be a trap to capture her. But on the fourth hand – or second foot – Kim probably felt an obligation to meet her charity date obligation. On the fifth hand, Shego had out-heroed Kim last time, at least in her own mind, and would love to show up the red-head again. On the sixth hand Shego had enjoyed the adventure last time, and, on the seventh hand, Shego wondered who would win if she had a fight with a five hundred pound gorilla. "Let's go."

One of the lions was not back in custody. It had been cornered, but the tranquilizer dart had missed and it was still at large – although they hoped it remained in the confines of the zoo. It, along with a gorilla and two orangutans were considered the greatest dangers – with a full grown mandrill with nasty claws and a temper to match also a threat. The zoo keepers, however, were as concerned with the safety of animals as they were with human safety.

"We have a lot of small primates up in trees," the director told them as the police car delivered Kim and Shego to the zoo. "Take these," he said handing them each a pair of infra-red goggles. Kim started to put hers on. "Not yet," he suggested. "This way… We've managed to keep them relatively isolated so far – but if they scatter they could get to trees outside the zoo and go anywhere.

As he led them along the path they met nervous looking men and women in pairs, armed with tranquilizer guns, nets, and shields. She felt slightly nervous at the idea this might be an elaborate trap Kim had prepared for her.

The director's phone rang, "Yes." He listened for a minute. "Good." He smiled at the women, "Got one of the orangutans without needing to tranq her. Hope the male goes without a fuss. We've got a keeper talking with Bob."

"Bob?"

"Our gorilla."

They reached a copse towards the edge of the zoo. At the far end of the small grove was a fence – with more trees growing beyond the zoo property line. A number of zoo workers prowled the fence line, shining lights and beating garbage pan lids to create loud noises. Three sides were relatively clear, no monkey would be able to get to leave the copse in those directions without going to the ground. There were some zookeepers in the clear areas which kept the primates in the trees, and guards with tranquilizer guns to protect the keepers from the lion.

"Put the goggles on now," the director suggested. Several dozen hot spots glowed in the trees. "Tamarins, marmosets, lemurs, langurs, probably any monkey you can name… That big fellow over there," he pointed. "The mandrill. They often stay on the ground, but they can climb."

"And most of those branches are too small to support human weight." Kim commented.

"Exactly."

"So you're setting up nets somewhere," Shego guessed, "or trying to, with people worried about a lion jumping out on them. Why in the hell did you call Kim?"

"Well, she was so good with those California condors last year we thought she might have a good idea."

"You really need to fuck up more often, Princess," Shego told the cheerleader. "People take advantage of your good nature."

"At least I have a good nature." She turned to the director, "Is my, ah, friend right you're getting nets set up?"

"Fast as we can."

"And is it the light keeping them back now?"

"The light or the noise, we aren't sure which. Some of them are diurnal, but we figure—"

"Diurnal?" Kim asked.

"Active by day rather than nocturnal, but they may figure the lights are the keepers looking for them."

"But if the lights of the keepers were turned off and a really, really bright light suddenly shone they'd panic and head in the other direction?"

"Probably."

"A bright green light?" Shego asked Kim. "You're asking me to break my moral code, again?"

"It's an immoral code, and you insisted on coming along. I'll use any resource available to me." The director just looked puzzled as the two women talked. "How long until the nets are in place?"

"Let me check," he told them. A minute later he told them, "Hopefully fifteen minutes. Having some problem with one section of net."

"I'll see if I can help – point me in the right direction. You and my friend can figure out the best location for the big light to startle them."

"How are you going to generate a bright enough light?"

"Just point her in the right direction and let me worry about the light," Shego told him.

The keepers setting up the nets reported everything in place and Shego warned the director, "Close you eyes." The sudden flash of intense light even startled one of the zookeepers, who let his section of net droop. Fortunately Kim stayed near the big nets and had a small net with a handle. A loris and potto made it through the gap, but Kim snared them.

After Shego stopped the light she and the director scanned the trees. "That was amazing," he told her.

"I am amazing," she agreed. "I think we might have got everybody moving to the nets."

"Let me call," he requested and took out his phone.

"Not everyone," she reported glumly. She'd spotted the mandrill who had either refused to panic or had been sheltered by a tree trunk and been less exposed to the light. "The big baboon is still there."

The director finished his call. "He's big enough we can tranquilize him if necessary. It would have been impossible to do that safely with the smaller animals. They're getting the smaller primates in holding cages. You and Kim did wonderfully."

Shego took too much pride in her abilities to let the zoo finish her job. She tried flashes of light from different angles, but the mandrill simply maneuvered around the tree trunk to protect its eyes from the glare.

"Don't worry," the director told her. "Once they get the smaller primates secured someone will get him."

"Get me a net," Shego ordered. "No monkey makes a monkey out of me."

"Mandrills are baboons, which aren't—"

"I said, 'get me a net'," Shego growled in a tone the director didn't expect from a friend of Kim Possible.

"Yes," he agreed. Despite being forty pounds overweight he did his run to retrieve a net for her in a time which would have made an Olympian proud. As Shego tried to figure out how to hold the net and climb the tree he told her nervously, "In Africa, lions will avoid packs of baboons - you know they can be very dangerous."

Shego did not know that and wished it had been mentioned earlier. She couldn't figure out any graceful way to back out of her promise to capture him, however. "He doesn't have his pack to back him up," she pointed out. "He's going down."

True to Shego's word, four minutes the baboon fell from the tree, partially contained in the net Shego was holding when she fell with him. Another zoo keeper ran up with a second net to secure the mandrill.

There was not another zoo keeper with a net to secure Shego so the director offered her a hand to help her up. "Are you all right?" he asked anxiously.

"Only hurt my pride," she told him. "My pride and my ass." She rubbed her rear gingerly.

"Your face is scratched, was that the mandrill or a tree branch?"

Any pain from a scratch was nothing to the pain of hitting the ground so Shego didn't realize she had been injured. She took off her glove to check her face. She noticed a little blood on her fingers after feeling the scratch. "I'm not sure," she told him.

As they were talking Kim joined them. "You need to get that cleaned with anti-septic," he told her. He turned to Kim. "Your friend… I didn't catch her name." He looked to Shego.

"Pam," she told him, "Pam Isley."

"Your friend Pam saved us from having to tranquilize the mandrill, but an infection could be more dangerous than his teeth or claws. There's a first aid station near the zoo entrance. Should I get an escort for you?"

"Nah," Shego told him. "Princess here and I'll be fine."

"Is your name really Pam Isley?" Kim asked as the two walked down a path toward the entrance.

"Your brothers don't read comic books, do they?"

"I don't understand."

"She's a character in a comic book I used to identify with."

"A hero?"

"Get real, Pumpkin, a villain."

"Shego?"

"Yes?"

"Get ready to hit the ground."

"Why?"

"I think the lioness smells the blood on your cheek."

"What lion—"

"DUCK!" Kim screamed.

Shego hit the ground, wondering if there were a lioness or Kim just wanted to see her drop.

The lioness sailed over the spot her intended prey had occupied. Kim lept into the air to meet the attack. The redhead flipped and grabbed the front paws of the big cat to try and keep her from bringing them into play. Kim's feet kicked the startled lioness in its stomach with enough force to flip the animal. Kim released her hold on the lioness and dropped to the ground beside Shego. The two women scrambled to their feet before the lioness could reorient itself and Shego hit it with a flash of light that temporarily blinded it.

There was a chance the well-fed lioness might simply have fled from the two women who were not the easy prey the zoo-raised cat might have imagined, but Kim was not taking chances – or taking a big chance depending on one's perspective. Afraid the lioness would attack again Kim jumped onto its back, getting a full Nelson on its front legs with her hands locked behind its head and applying all the pressure she could while she had her legs crossed tightly around the cat's belly to keep them from becoming targets for the claws on the lion's back legs.

All the lioness could do was roll and try to dislodge the cheerleader on its back. "Close your eyes and keep 'em closed," Shego ordered and put out a glare guaranteed to be painful to the cat's eyes and make it easy for the zookeepers to find them as Shego hollered, "Lioness! Come and get your lioness here! Step it up, will you?" Shego wasn't sure how long Kim could maintain the sleeper hold on the lioness, but Kim didn't want to find out what the lioness would do if she relaxed her grip. "Try not to hit the cheerleader," Shego told the first man to arrive as he hastily aimed the gun at the lioness, "it's seven years bad luck."

A minute later the drug began to slow the cat down and a couple minutes after that Kim and Shego resumed their interrupted journey to the first aid station.

Drakken's robbery was far more successful than his earlier effort. If the first attempted theft resulted in abject humiliation the attempted raid on an electronics warehouse resulted in simple failure. As he wandered the huge warehouse, his flashlight revealed boxes filled with rubber chickens, joy buzzers, whoopee cushions, garlic-flavored chewing gum, and other novelty items. After half an hour of frustration he took the Google-maps printout from his pocket and shone his light on it. "Oh, Snap... East Maple, not West Maple." To keep the night from being a total loss he took two cases of rubber chickens and a case of rubber dog poop back to the lair - after all, one can never have too many rubber chickens and fake dog poop is always popular.

"Hey," Kim said suddenly during their flight back to Middleton, "I saved your life."

"The only reason I needed to be saved was because I was helping you do your daily good deed. I swear, Princess, hanging around you is more dangerous than robbing banks."

"The point is, I saved you."

"The point is that you failed to keep your promise again. This was not the dinner I paid ten grand for."

"No gratitude at all for saving your life?"

"Only if you let me blame you for putting it in jeopardy to begin with, I... Hey, I'll take you out and get you drunk to say thanks, okay?"

"I'm only eighteen."

"I know plenty of places that don't card."

"I can't wait to tell Ron that I saved you."

"Hold on, Pumpkin. I want to be there when you tell him. I'm not going to let you embroider the truth."

"I'm always honest!"

"Like your promise that the winning bidder would have dinner with you?"

"It'll happen, it just got delayed a little. Hey, instead of getting me drunk you could buy me a soda while I tell Ron - that way you can hear that I'm honest."

"A soda? You save my life and all you ask for is a soda? I don't know if I should be insulted you think I'm worth so little or you really work too cheap."

Kim shrugged, "Maybe both. Want me to call Ron?"

"Yeah, call Doofus."

Ron and Tara were just finishing up after the dinner. They could have left an hour earlier, but had stayed to supervisor the cleaning crew in the kitchen.

"You can bring her with you," Kim suggested. "Where do you want to meet?"

"How about Corinth?" Ron suggested. "We can finish fast and be there in ten minutes."

"Don't rush, it'll be like twenty minutes before Shego and I can get there. See you in Corinth."

"Corinth?" Shego asked as Kim hung up.

"Corinthian Diner. Not many things in Middleton you know are always open."

Tara seemed nervous as Kim made introductions, and the blond girl moved a little closer to Ron.

The waitress was there almost immediately, "Pitcher of soda - got the Coke or Pepsi family?" the green woman asked.

"Coke."

"Pitcher of Coke... What's a good appetizer here?"

"The calamari's good," Ron said quickly. "It's served with shrimp sauce and-"

"Fine," Shego said, cutting him short. She turned to the waitress "Big order of calamari."

"What's the occasion?" Ron asked.

"Shego's buying," Kim answered. "I saved her life!"

"Why?"

Shego's hands burned green as she repeated his question, "Why?" and Tara clutched his arm.

"How! I meant how!" Ron corrected himself.

"Her lazy partner was off somewhere so I generously went along, and got attacked by a lion," Shego told Ron.

"Is that true, Kim?" Tara asked.

"I wouldn't call Ron lazy, but a lion tried to attack us and I had to fight it."

"You and Shego fought a lion?" Ron asked.

"I fought a lion, Shego watched," Kim told him.

"Two against one didn't seem fair," the green woman countered.

"You're very brave," Tara told Kim.

"So what happened to your cheek?" Ron asked Shego. "Was that the lion?"

"Nah, there were a bunch of escaped animals," Shego explained. "I got this fighting something the zoo director said the lions were afraid of."

"What was that?" Tara wanted to know.

Shego switched the subject, "So, what were the two of you up to while Kim was off rounding up escaped animals?"

"Ron volunteered to cook for his part in our school auction," Tara began. "Did you hear about our school auction? See... Oh, wait... Yeah, you know about it. Ron cooked and I helped. He's amazing in the kitchen."

"You're really good, it made things way easier," Ron told her.

"Now, one thing I've never been sure of," Shego asked Ron, "are you an adrenaline junkie too, or is that just Pumpkin here?"

Ron looked puzzled, "Adrenaline junkie?"

"I am not an adrenaline junkie," Kim argued.

"Sure you are," Shego insisted. She turned to Ron, "She gets a thrill out of saving the world doesn't she?"

"No-" Kim tried to interject.

Ron shook his head yes, "Sure does. Just scares me most of the time."

"Are you going to try and say you don't get a thrill from the stuff you try and pull?" Kim insisted. "If I'm an adrenaline junkie you're one too," she told Shego.

"Never said I wasn't," Shego agreed. "But that's why evil is better than good."

The other three in the booth look puzzled.

"But good is good," Tara argued. "And evil isn't good, so how can evil be better."

"Yeah, what she said," Ron agreed.

"See, Kim here is basically re-active," Shego explained to the pair, "but I can be pro-active."

"Pro-active? Re-active?" Tara repeated.

"Should that be pro-active and amateur active?" Ron asked.

Shego sighed.

"She's saying she can go out and do something for the thrill of it," Kim explained. "But she says I'm re-active. I have to sit around and wait for someone else to do something first for me to react too."

"Exactly," Shego agreed. "Why I left Team Go. I got tired of sitting around waiting for something to happen so we could go break heads. I wanted the thrill when I wanted the thrill, not to depend on someone else."

"Does that mean you'll turn evil some day?" Tara asked Kim.

"No, I will not turn evil," Kim promised.

"Can you be sure?" Shego asked. "I didn't exactly set out to go criminal - it just kind of happened."

"I'm not an adrenaline junkie," Kim argued. "Okay, maybe there is a thrill from my missions - but I don't live for it. I've got lots of things I like to do... Probably too many. Sports, cheerleading, extra-curricular activities, my friends. I love my family very much and would never do anything to hurt them. I'm happy right now, just sitting here drinking Coke and waiting for the calamari to arrive."

"You've still got the adrenaline pumping," Shego argued. "Mission's over, but you're sitting by the most dangerous woman in the world, the worst enemy you have. Admit it - you're on edge. You know this is dangerous. You're afraid I'm going to attack any second."

"Nah," Kim laughed. "You paid ten thousand dollars to go out to dinner with me, remember? We're both stuck until then. This was Drakken's idea, wasn't it."

"Yeah," Shego admitted.

"Could you tell me why?"

"You know the expression, 'When hell freezes over'?"

"Yes."

"It ain't going to be that soon."

"And besides," Ron broke in, "you aren't Kim's worst enemy," he told Shego. "That's Bonnie."

"Who's Bonnie?" Shego wanted to know.

"She's not that bad," Tara insisted.

"Bonnie Rockwaller, she's another cheerleader," Kim told Shego.

"How is she Kim's worst enemy," Shego asked Ron as the calamari arrived.

Ron burned his tongue on the first piece, hot from the deep fryer. After swallowing he told Shego. "Bonnie attacks Kim's reputation at school."

"I try and take her head off!"

"Yeah, but like you said, you're super-dangerous. So if you beat Kim in a fight she still looks good for standing up to you. And if she wins, it makes her look even better."

Kim and Shego stared at each other for a few seconds as Ron grabbed a couple more pieces of calamari and dipped them in the shrimp sauce. "I want credit for half your reputation," Shego told Kim.

"Half! Not even ten percent!"

"I'm being generous, Princess. I probably deserve three-quarters. How much rep credit do you really think you get for getting a cat down out of a tree or returning a baby seal to its mother? I swear, I deserve most of the credit for your reputation."

"That's-" Kim began.

"Why does she call you things like Princess and Pumpkin?" Tara asked Kim.

"I think they're... I think the term is diminutives," Kim explained. "So, it's saying I'm like a little girl and she doesn't have to take me serious."

"Oh, I thought maybe it meant she really liked you or something."

"Eat your squid," Shego ordered the blond girl, and took a piece herself and dipped it into the sauce. The day had been a disaster. The blond idiot thought she liked Kim. The cheerleader had saved her life, and that was annoying. And while the comment about Kim wouldn't turn evil because she had friends and family she loved and didn't want to disappoint had not been an attack on Shego it had still hurt. Shego had not possessed the network of friends, family, and other activities that surrounded Kim. Still, the zoo had been an adventure to enjoy. And Ron was right, the calamari was good. It was nice just to sit and relax for a few minutes without Drakken boring her with some plot that was guaranteed not to work.


	5. Evil Plans and More Squid

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

I send reviewers a small preview of the next chapter.

**Evil Plans and More Squid  
**

Monique was humming and smiling on Monday morning. Josh was funny, a great listener, and - best of all - had asked her out on a real date for the next weekend.

Kim and Shego scheduled two more attempts for dinner and didn't make it to Bueno Nacho either time, but managed to close one of the evenings with calamari at the diner - they were too tired from the overseas flight on the second night for calamari.

"Ron and I sometimes lean against each and nap on the flight back," Kim yawned.

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not Ron."

"Never said you were - just giving you fair warning," Kim explained as she leaned against Shego and closed her eyes.

_"She owes me calamari,"_ Shego thought. The green woman yawned. _"Can't blame her for being tired."_ Shego wished she had a magic marker with her, and was wondering what she might write on Kim's face until she too dozed off, leaning against Kim.

Drakken hadn't even attempted a robbery. Instead he invited a couple of the more talented henchmen along for karaoke night so they could backup vocals for some 1950s doo-wop numbers.

Ron and Tara worked together for the second of Ron's promised three meals

Jim and Tim made it through another weekend without doing their work, but it wasn't easy.

"Maybe we ought to just clean the garage and basement," Tim suggested. "We did promise."

"It's the principle of the thing," Jim argued. "If it was someone else we'd have done it, but if we start doing what mom and dad want they'll expect us to listen to them all the time."

Another week passed and Josh needed a long, cold shower after his third, or second, date - depending on whether Wrestlemania should be counted or not - date with Monique

Kim and Shego had yet another weekend interrupted before they could eat at Bueno Nacho. When they joined Tara and Ron at the diner the waitress just asked, "The usual?"

As Tara worked with Ron for the birthday dinner on a Thursday evening she asked, "Do we make a great team? I think we make a great team."

Ron had not considered that cooking with Tara made them a team. "I... uh, sure."

"I'm glad. I really like working with you. Do you like working with me?"

"Yeah, it's a lot easier with you here helping."

It was not exactly the answer Tara wanted. She wanted Ron to say he liked being with her, not just that it made cooking easier.

Friday, in a rocky lair... "… without bees to pollinate plants—" Shego's phone rang

"Hold that rant," she told her employer, "Let me check caller ID."

"Who could be more important than me?" the blue man pouted.

"You don't really want me to answer that," she warned him. "Oh, it's Pumpkin. I'll take this, see if you can keep your plan in your head for a few minutes." She pushed a button on the phone, "Princess, Whassup?"

Drakken stood pouting and tapping his foot while Shego chatted with Kim.

Shego ended the call and looked over, "Okay, you can resume rant."

"You took a phone call from Kim Possible, while I was talking with you?"

"Duh, yes."

"I'm your boss."

"You're my employer, I wouldn't push the boss part – not good for your health."

"But why?"

"Why is a bad idea to say you're my boss?"

"No, why did you give her your phone number?"

"She might have had something important to say. You were on standard rant number three. You have thirteen more minutes of telling me how brilliant you are, then I take a minute and a half to puncture your balloon."

"That's cold, Shego."

"It's also true."

"I still don't know why Kim Possible has your phone number."

"Duh, I gave it to her."

"You haven't given me your phone number!"

"What's your point?"

"Kim Possible can call you and I can't?"

"Hello, we live in the same lair. If you need to contact me you can go put a Post-it Note on my door. I don't want you waking me from a nap with a call to tell me about some new plan."

"But you gave your phone number to the cheerleader!"

"That was your idea, remember?"

"It was? When?"

"When you told me to win that dinner with her in the auction. She's so busy trying to save the world and stay on the honor roll and everything else we're having trouble setting up a time. Hey, it gives you more chances to steal things somewhere without her coming after you."

"Um… Yes… That was a brilliant plan – wasn't it?"

Shego sighed. "Yeah, whatever."

Tara stopped by Ron's locker, "I feel bad 'cause you had to spend so much for me at the auction."

"No problem, you made my life easier."

"I want to pay you back."

"You don't-"

"So I got us a job cooking."

"I... You... What?"

"We need servers. Hope and Marcella will do it for sixty dollars each. There's still almost four hundred dollars for you."

"I... uh... When? Where? We'll split the money after-"

She put her fingers over his lips. "I don't want anything but to be there, helping you. You don't know how much what you did means to me." She took away her hand and gave him a fast kiss - which drew comments from a couple students in the hallway. "Understand?"

He swallowed hard, "I... Yeah," and she smiled at him.

Several days later Shego was once again dressed for Bueno Nacho. "What are you going to steal this time?" she asked Drakken before leaving.

"I haven't decided, I—" Shego's phone rang again.

"I'm getting real tired of being stood up," Shego sighed as she noted the in-coming number. "Hello, Pumpkin. What's the problem this time?" She listened for a minute, "So, Dementor's stealing some molecular transmogrifier? Thankfully I don't have to risk my own skin this time."

"Please?" Kim asked.

"Honor among evil doers. It just looks bad for me to help you stop a villain."

Drakken meanwhile grew increasingly excited and waved his arms frantically to catch her attention.

"Hold on, Princess, someone's got his underwear in a twist." She put her hand over the mouthpiece. "Well?"

"Is it Doctor Nelson's molecular transmogrifier?"

"I didn't ask." She got back on the phone. "The blue guy asks if the doohickey is from some guy named Nelson?" She paused. "Yeah, Drakken probably has it on his want list."

Drakken waved frantically again.

"Hold on Princess, he has something else to say." "Yeah, I know you're in a hurry." She looked at Drakken.

"Help her."

"Help her?"

"Yes. I don't like Dementor. And don't want him to steal the transmogrifier. You can case the joint."

"Help the cheerleader?"

"You're not helping her, you're using her so we can help ourselves."

Shego shrugged, "Okay." She got on the phone, "He wants me to help you." "No, really." "Of course it's so he can steal it later – you don't think he's gone humanitarian, do you?" "No, I'll pick you up – I can be there in fifteen."

"The transmogrifier is a hundred times smaller than a cyclotron," Drakken tried to tell Shego as she ran out the door.

Of course, a hundred times smaller than a twelve-hundred ton cyclotron is still twelve tons.

"I knew that," Dementor told his brother-in-law as his henchmen disassembled the device.

"But how are we going to get all the crates back home?" Myron demanded.

"You don't need to worry," Kim answered him. "The transmogrifier isn't going anywhere."

"Kim Possible!" Dementor said in surprise. "And I assume that sidekick who looks like he doesn't belong with you is here as well."

Kim sighed, "I wish you could remember Ron's name. No, he isn't here."

"You think one person can stop me?" Dementor sneered.

Kim smiled, "If it's the right person, she can."

Ten minutes later, with half of Dementor's henchmen lying in the floor in various states of consciousness the remaining henchmen were tying up the teen. "It appears you were not the person to stop me," Dementor sneered.

"Of course not," Shego said, stepping into the room. "But I am."

"You took your own sweet time in getting here," Kim told her.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a parking spot for that beast? There were three clowns looking at the spot I found and I beat them all."

"Well you haven't been a lot of help."

"Hey, I told you that I'm not here to help you."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not."

Myron looked confused, "Are you helping Kim Possible or not?"

"No."

"You're here to help us?"

"No, I'm not here to help you," Shego explained. "And I'm not here to help the cheerleader. I'm here to help Drakken."

Now Dementor looked puzzled, "That incompetent is here?"

"No, Drakken is not here. But he wants to steal the whatever this is for himself one day, and it's a lot easier to steal it from one of these badly guarded labs than it is to steal it from your castle."

"So, for the moment Shego and I are helping each other," Kim explained.

"We're not helping each other," Shego said, kicking one henchman in the gut as she grabbed another one and tossed him at the man trying to knot the rope wound around Kim. "We just have a common goal."

The man trying to tie Kim up was forced to let go of the rope and dodge the human missile launched by Shego. Kim dropped to the ground and kicked his legs out from under him. As he fell she quickly flipped to her feet and shook off the ropes. "Well it looks like help to me," she told Shego. Some of the henchmen she had knocked down were on their feet again.

"These guys are nothing," Shego told Kim as she returned the already groggy henchmen to horizontal positions on the floor.

"After I softened them up for you," Kim shot back.

"Demen, I think they're winning," a nervous Myron told his brother-in-law.

"You will call me Professor Dementor... It does appear time for a strategic retreat."

As they headed for the door Myron decided to take some initiative. He had been carrying an equipment pack and had noticed something which looked like a bomb. He pulled out the device, threw the switch, and tossed it at Kim and Shego.

"Bondo-ball!" Kim yelled at Shego, "throw it back!"

"What's a bondo-ball?" Shego asked as she hurled it back at Myron.

"Fool!" Dementor shrieked at Myron, "get rid of it!"

"You don't want to know," Kim called to Shego, as she tossed the ball back at Dementor, who quickly hurled it at Shego.

"Gimme a clue," Shego requested as she tossed it back at Myron.

"Want to be really stuck on me?" Kim asked as she caught Myron's pass and hurled it back at Dementor.

"How does it-" Shego started to ask as she caught the throw from Dementor.

"Just get rid of it!" Kim ordered.

* * *

"Well, that was effective," Kim admitted.

"I do good work," Shego said smugly.

Kim felt fortunate she hadn't taken German classes, so she didn't know exactly what Dementor was saying to Myron, although she had a general sense from the tone of his voice.

"I would not have thought of sticking it down his pants," Kim conceded. "Now, what am I going to do with these guys."

"You will do nothing with them, Ms Possible," a voice said from the doorway and Kim and Shego turned to see a squad of Global Justice agents, headed by Elizabeth Director herself, enter the room. Half of the agents began to round up Dementor and his men, with the other half forming a perimeter around Kim and Shego. Dr. Director's good eye narrowed as she stared at Shego. The head of GJ directed her comments at Kim, "My compliments to your Mr. Load for his efficiency. We'd have been here sooner, but some idiot took up four spaces with a VTOL and we had a hard time finding a spot to land our craft. Is this your mystery woman?"

Shego's mouth felt dry. There were more Global Justice agents than the number of henchmen who had been with Dementor, and the green woman suspected Kim would not be fighting with her if GJ attempted an arrest. She licked her lips nervously, "Uh, yes."

"Pam Isley," Kim volunteered.

Betty Director raised an eyebrow. In other circumstances she might have smiled, but not today. "So, Ms. Ivy, I am surprised to see you."

"It's Isl-" Kim started, but Shego gave her a fast tap that Kim correctly interpreted as 'Be quiet'.

"You, uh, seem to follow Kim pretty closely," Shego stammered.

"Not closely enough it would seem," the director commented drily. "We don't tail her, but Kim knows we want to recruit her into Global Justice after she graduates college. We follow her appearances in the news. May I ask what you're doing with her?"

"She, uh, needed a ride, and I..."

"Were this a first I might believe you - assuming you were here on behalf of your blue friend. But the so-called mystery woman has been seen working with Kim on several occasions. Oh, I thought the government of Moldova did a good job of keeping the story of the giant rats from the media."

"Probably the Russians," Shego croaked. "It was a Soviet-era chem dump."

"But let's not get off the subject. Why are you here with Ms. Possible?"

Kim spoke up, "There was this service auction at school and-"

"Oh yes, I heard of that," Dr. Director told her. "I considered putting in a bid myself and giving you another pitch to accept the Global Justice scholarship."

"I told you, I'm not sure what I want to do after college."

"Anyway," the one-eyed woman continued. "I decided you know we want you, and you would probably get a bid higher than our recruiting budget allowed for a single potential agent. Am I to assume your green 'friend' here put in the winning bid?"

Shego nodded her head yes and counted the number of Global Justice agents again. Quarters were too close for them to use weapons, but they probably had a lot more training than Dementor's goons. Maybe Kim would help her. The redhead owed her.

"Interesting. I wonder why?"

"I don't know... Um, to change the subject, I'm kinda surprised to see you here personally," Kim told the head of GJ.

"Do you realize how important the transmogrifier might be?" she asked.

"Uh, no," Kim admitted.

"Well, frankly right now no one is certain how valuable it might be, but it does show tremendous potential. I'll ask the two of you to leave now."

"But director!" an agent Kim recognized as Will Du protested and whispered something in her ear.

After listening to him for a few seconds Betty Director waved him away, "Ms Isley helped Kim Possible today and made our job easier." She looked at the two women, "You may go. Kim, you need to be more careful about with whom you associate. Ms. Isley, get the hell out of here. And if either of you meet the pilot of a green-and-black VTOL you can tell the idiot to take lessons on how to park."

Shego took inordinate pride in her flying skills, but decided not to argue the point and to take the advice to get the hell out of there.

"The usual?" the waitress at the Corinthian diner asked.

"And a beer, IPA," Shego said. "I need one."

Even Tara noticed that Shego seemed down during calamari, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," the green woman snapped. "Sorry, didn't mean it that way," she apologized when Tara recoiled at the rebuke. "Just... Yeah, not feeling one hundred per cent." She took another sip from her beer.

"As we finished up Global Justice arrived to arrest Dementor," Kim explained.

Ron recognized the problem, "Ouch. So... What happened?"

"As a favor to Pumpkin they pretended not to recognize me. They're hoping to draft her so they didn't want to offend her by taking away her ride. Sometimes being wanted sucks."

"Whose fault is that?" Ron asked.

"I don't need that," Shego told him in a flat voice. "I just need squid, and another beer."

"No," Kim reminded her, "you're flying, remember?"

Shego looked over at Ron, "Is she always this bossy?"

"As long as I've known her," he answered. "Part of the problem is that she's usually right."

"How is being right a problem?" Tara asked.

Ron and Shego softly laughed together and Kim quietly fumed. "They think it makes me stubborn and bossy," Kim explained to Tara.

The light went on for the blond girl, "Oh, I wondered why you were like that."

Ron and Shego laughed a little louder. Kim thought of protesting, but decided it was nice to hear Shego in a better mood and let it pass.


	6. Kim Turns Evil! Shego Eats Cheese!

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Reviewers receive a preview of the next chapter.

**Kim Turns Evil! (Or about as evil she ever gets)  
**

"Selina Kyle?" Shego asked, puzzled. "Who is Selina Kyle?"

"Apparently, you are," Kim answered over the phone. "It was the name you used for the auction."

"Oh, sorry. You wouldn't believe how many fake identities I have. Why do you need Selina Kyle?"

"I would believe how many fake identities you have, and I don't need Selina Kyle - but the Opera House Restoration Committee wants her."

"Why?"

"Some kind of ceremony honoring those who gave ten thousand dollars or more. They weren't getting anywhere with the information you gave for the auction so they asked if I knew how to contact you."

"You were the one who raised the money by putting yourself up for auction."

"Actually, they want us both there."

"Can I pass on this? I don't want to be recognized."

"C'mon, it would look bad if you didn't show up and-"

"And how will it look if I show up and tell the world you're a welcher?"

"I'm not welching, we've just had some trouble finding a time that fits our schedules."

"That fits your schedule. Honestly, Princess, you hurt my feeling by how often you stand me up. This'll be the same, we'll be all dolled up for this big soiree and your damn Kimmunicator will go off and you'll abandon me again."

"I won't abandon you."

"Oh, that's right. You'll drag me along to have your back."

"I'll spring for calamari afterward if you come to the ceremony."

"And if you get called away?"

"I'll still spring for calamari."

"Not good enough. You take me on another mission instead of–"

"I didn't drag you on any missions! You always insist on coming along."

"I figure you're trying to scam me to get out of your obligation."

"You really think that?"

"Well," Shego admitted. "I did at first."

"Believe me, I want to get out of this as much as you."

"You're trying to get rid of me?"

Kim hesitated, "Okay, this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Those first couple times... That was scary."

"So, I've succeeded in lulling you into a false sense of security?" Shego gave an evil laugh.

"You enjoy those missions as much as I do. Admit it."

"I don't have to admit nothing... Okay, you'd make a pretty good sidekick, I–"

"Sidekick! I should tell the committee I couldn't find you - and just share the calamari with Ron and Tara."

"Fine, I'll show up. But I'm only there for calamari afterwards - got it?"

"Of course," Kim smiled. "An adrenaline junkie like you will be bored to tears."

"Damn right. Now give me the date and time."

* * *

"The server's down," Jim told Tim.

"What?"

"Can't get on the internet."

"Let's look at the router after-"

"Wait, the server is working - the password has been changed."

"That's crazy."

"I know. Hand me my phone."

"Hold on, I'm checking email with mine."

"Well, hurry. I-"

"Service disconnected."

"What?"

It dawned on the twins at the same moment. They would have to spend the weekend cleaning the garage and basement before they could electronically reconnect with the human race.

* * *

Under the veil and makeup Shego felt secure, but to her chagrin she couldn't lift the veil for a glass of champagne. The press for the ceremony was entirely from the tri-city area and spent more time with Kim and Mr. Paisley than any two other local celebrities.

"Selina Kyle?" a local reporter asked Shego. "Were you named for-"

"I was named for my great-grandmother," she told him firmly. "Grandpa said she had known Bob Kane years ago, but that might be family legend. This isn't about me. It's about the opera house."

"But-"

"Opera house," she told him firmly.

"You play the humility role very well," Kim whispered as he moved away.

"Only when I'm in disguise like this. That girl over there looks like she's got a burr up her butt over lack of attention. Isn't she the one who got a higher bid than you?"

"Bonnie Rockwaller, yeah. That's her dad with her. I wonder what happened to the guy who bid eleven thousand?"

The ceremony was as long and dull as Shego and Kim feared, although the green woman whispered the occasional sarcastic comment to make Kim giggle. The fund-raising had been so successful that restoration was now ahead of schedule and the opera house might be finished in time for a special presentation of The Nutcracker with the Upperton Symphony before Christmas. A bronze plaque inside the entrance would commemorate the major donors, who would all be guests of honor at the dedication performance and various other things, but Shego had lost interest and was looking around at the jewelery being worn to the event. She was startled to realize she didn't feel like stealing anything, she just wanted the whole thing over so she could head back to the Corinthian Diner in Middleton. "Let's get out of here," she whispered to Kim before the applause for the closing speaker had ended, "there's a squid somewhere with my name written on it."

* * *

"So, how was it?" Ron asked as the foursome found their usual booth.

"Did Ron get mentioned?" Tara asked.

"His name was in the program," Kim told her, and slid a copy across the table.

"The usual?" the waitress asked. "Pitcher of Coke and a big order of calamari?"

"And an IPA," Shego told her. "I need one again today." After the waitress left she told the three, "Having to listen to people say nice things about me is thirsty work."

"You don't like people saying nice things about you?" Tara asked, clearly puzzled.

"No, I don't."

"Yes she does," Kim answered. "She's just into her tough girl image and won't admit it."

"Them's fightin' words, Pumpkin. If there wasn't calamari on the way I'd punch you for that."

"You're getting good publicity," Ron told her. "A lot of places talk about the mystery woman helping Kim. They think you're her new sidekick."

"I did not come here to be insulted," Shego growled. "I came here to eat calamari."

"Drop it, Ron," Kim suggested. "She considers me her sidekick."

"But–" Tara started.

"But Tara and I have news," Ron interrupted, fearing Tara might say something to further anger Shego. "Tara has lined up a couple more cooking jobs for Ron's catering."

"Hey, congratulations," Kim said and gave him a high five.

"Yeah, what she said," Shego shrugged. "Just don't expect mystery woman to pick up all the slack."

"Go for it," Ron told her. He gestured as if reading a huge sign on a marquee, "Mystery Woman - scourge of evil. It's got a ring."

"Yeah, sounds better that nameless guy who keeps losing his pants - scourge of evil."

* * *

Ron and Tara had done most of the food prep by the time Hope and Marcella arrived to help serve. The two stayed to help with the cleaning. "Hey, you need servers again - call me," Marcella told him as he gave them each sixty dollars.

"Yeah, and I had forty dollars in tips," Hope added.

"There weren't supposed to be tips!" Marcella protested. "You were flirting!"

"I was not!"

"Were too!"

"Well, if I did I still got another forty dollars."

"Why don't we all go over to Leonardo's for pizza," Marcella suggested.

"I'm kinda tired," Ron said.

"Please?" Tara asked. "It'll be fun with the four of us."

Marcella and Hope weren't there when Ron and Tara arrived. "They left before us, wonder what happened?" Ron mused.

"We should get a booth and wait," Tara suggested. "Maybe they stopped for gas or something." She slid in beside Ron so the others could sit opposite them.

After a quarter hour Ron decided they'd been stood up. "Well, we could still have something before you take me home," Tara suggested.

"I... Sure," Ron agreed.

Marcella and Hope stopped by Tara's house the next day to ask how it had gone.

"Why do you even bother," Hope argued. "It's like he's hopeless or something."

"He's not hopeless, he's very sweet," Tara responded. "He just doesn't have much experience dating."

"He hung around Kim long enough, he should," Marcella told the blond.

"She and Ron are friends. They have adventures. The fact he still doesn't know what to do with a girlfriend proves they weren't serious."

"So, you're his girlfriend now?"

"Don't tell anyone," Tara warned them. "He doesn't know yet."

* * *

"Looks like we're going to finally have our dinner date," Kim told Shego as the pair once again stood in front of the menu board at Bueno Nacho.

"Not if you're going to jinx us that way," Shego grumbled. "Say that and about the time we sit down you get a call and we're off to Katmandu, or Walla-Walla, or Upper Volta."

"Upper Volta?"

"Oh, my bad. It's not in Africa anymore."

"What happened to it?"

"That's what they'll be calling you to find out."

The two placed their orders, received their trays of what passes for food at Bueno Nacho and sat down. Neither finished her meal, but it was by choice and not interruption. "I can't believe I've seen Ron eat two of these all by himself." Kim commented as she used her plastic fork to try and shape the refried beans into a bust of George Washington.

"I can't believe that they paired you with dinner here. How the hell did that happen?"

"Luck of the draw."

"Luck of the draw?"

"Okay, maybe unluck of the draw. They put all the possible date places on slips of paper then put them in a big bowl and pulled out stuff at random."

"And who did the drawing? That girl… What was her name… Bonnie?"

"No, it was someone on Monique's business team."

"I've still got Bonnie as a suspect. Where did she eat?"

"The, uh, best restaurant in town."

"You got played like a violin."

"She didn't pull out the names."

"You can pull strings even if you're not pulling names. Remember her dad was the one at the ceremony, the guy was just a shill. Call your friend Monique."

"If she tells me it was George Kuchenryder who did the drawing I may believe you."

"Why?"

"Well, he's not in Bonnie's social level and she… Yeah, she set me up. How?"

"Easiest thing in the world, Pumpkin. Palm a couple slips of paper. One good, one bad. Supposed to draw a place for Bonnie and use the good one. Supposed to draw a place for you and then stick us in this rat hole. Now, give me her address."

"Why do you want her address?"

"Duh, I just pointed out. She didn't just stick you in this rat hole, she stuck me here too. You can turn the other cheek or play martyr if you want. Me, I want a little revenge."

"I will not help you with revenge."

"Why not? You enjoy this?"

"No. It might have been a fair… Okay, it wasn't a fair drawing. But I can't let you hurt someone – not even Bonnie Rockwaller."

"Not going to hurt her, I just figure a juvenile prank in return is appropriate. I'll TP her place. Now, you can tell me where she lives or I can look it up for myself. Heck, you can even come along if you want to make sure I don't set fire to the place or anything."

After stopping at a grocery store for toilet paper Kim drove Shego past the Rockwaller home. "That's the place," Kim whispered.

"No need to whisper, they can't hear you. Now park a couple blocks away."

The two women made their way back to the Rockwaller home and jumped the fence in the dark. "Sure you don't want to join me," Shego asked as she threw another roll up into a tree."

"No, I… Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Got it, Princess. Not good for either of our reputations." She passed a roll to Kim, "Here, take this and wrap it around the garage."

Kim was using her third roll of toilet paper to decorate Bonnie's car when they heard a shout from the house, "Who's there? Stop that!" and a flashlight beam shone into the yard, moving around trying to locate the vandals.

"Run," Shego ordered. It was an unnecessary order since Kim had already taken off.

They met, panting and laughing back at Kim's car. "Let's call Ron," Kim suggested. "One last order of calamari before life goes back to normal." She told Ron that she'd eaten with Shego at Bueno Nacho, but left off the trip to the Rockwaller home.

"Ah, man," Ron complained when his mouth was no longer filled with squid. "I'm actually sorry it's over."

"You could spend your own money for calamari," Shego suggested.

"I think this is the last of the service auctions," Tara said. "Monique had a sign up with all the names and they were checking things off as people did them. When she took it down last week Kim and her brothers were the only ones who hadn't finished."

"So, what's it like, KP, I mean, going on a date with your worst enemy?"

"A lot better than I expected," Kim admitted. "For a while there it almost felt like we were partners. I wasn't really expecting to go on a date with Shego, but it worked out."

"That wasn't a date," Shego suddenly announced.

"What do you mean?" Tara asked.

"Yeah, it was the package deal with the auction," Ron seconded.

"I mean if Princess here calls that a date, God help her." Shego turned to Kim, "I'm going to take you out and show you what a date is supposed to be."

"We had that tonight."

"Besides, you owe mystery woman for the times she saved your butt."

Kim turned Ron, "What do you think?"

"I still don't get it," he told Shego.

"I mean I get what I pay for. I paid for a date with Kim. I expect more from a date than a pile of grease and beans. I'm offering to take her out and show her what a date is supposed to look like."

Ron thought as he chewed another piece of deep fried squid. "I dunno," he told Kim. "It's still Shego. You can't trust her... But the two of you have been playing nice together. If she asked me out on a date I wouldn't go. But—"

"Darn right you wouldn't go," Tara said, clutching his arm possessively.

"Hey, what I'm saying is Kim has to decide for herself. If she's willing to go out with Shego she should."

"Well?" Shego demanded, "what do you say?"

"I…" Kim hesitated. Was it a trap? She thought back over the last several weeks. The two of them had fun together on missions. Maybe Shego had some kind of adventure planned for the two of them to get their adrenaline fix. Kim raised her glass, as if for a toast. "I'm game."

Shego laughed and raised her own glass of Coke to clink the rim against Kim's glass. "I think the punchline for that joke is, 'so he shot her.' It's a date, Princess."


	7. A Night on the Town

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Reviewers receive a preview of the next chapter.

**A Night on the Town  
**

Kim spent much of the week in nervous anticipation of her night out with Shego. She had initially imagined the older woman had some sort of adventure planned for the two of them. But when she had called and tried to pry a clue about what would happen, "So," Kim had insisted, "I can dress appropriately," all she had received was a laugh and an order to dress for a night on the town.

What did 'dress for a night on the town' mean anyway? If they were staying in Middleton there was no place in town where casual wasn't gladly welcomed. Could Kim even be certain they'd be staying in Middleton? Shego hadn't mentioned going elsewhere, but that didn't mean she planned on the two of them staying in Middleton. Shego seemed amused when Kim called a second time to try and squeeze a clue out of her. "Please," Shego had told her, "even in Middleton you must have some idea what a night on the town means."

Kim didn't. Everything in her closet was too girly or too casual except for the classic little black dress. The redhead did not want to wear that, it was a dress for a 'real' date and this was just Shego trying to show her… Kim would wear the little black dress. Shego wanted to show her something the opposite of Bueno Nacho, so they were bound to go somewhere fancy and the black dress was the best she had for some place exactly the opposite of Bueno Nacho.

Shego felt equally perplexed and anxious, but while Kim could blame her anxiety on not knowing what to wear Shego had no idea what she was doing. She told Drakken it was another chance for him to try a robbery without her, but didn't think he was going to try anything. Why had she asked Kim out in the first place? Why had Kim accepted? She couldn't go anywhere nice in Middleton with the cheerleader, Kim was too well known and she couldn't risk hurting the redhead's reputation with the auction excuse gone. The green woman felt confident she could find things to do in Go City, but there was too much chance she might be recognized there herself. New York… New York was huge. There were a million things to do, and the size offered anonymity.

It had been so long since Shego had been on a real date, the life of crime not lending itself to serious relationships, that Shego needed to read up on New York night life to decide what to do. Dinner and… what? Did Kim dance? It had been years since Shego was out dancing, but she felt sure she remembered how. Could they get into a club? Two beautiful women should have no trouble getting into a club. Maybe theater… The good Broadway stuff would already be sold out. Who needed bad Broadway? What was good Off-Broadway? A concert maybe? What was Kim's taste in music? "Why am I so damn nervous?" Shego asked herself. "I am so not trying to impress her. I just want to show her what a real date is like, pick what I like and don't worry about her," she told herself. But in the back of her mind a nagging voice told her she wanted to impress Kim and for both of them to have a good time.

Kim felt she was being honest with her parents when she said she was going out with Shego. "I thought you did the date for the auction last week," her mother said.

"Yes, but we had so much fun the last couple months that she suggested we go out for something a little better than Bueno Nacho."

"I can't imagine why," her father laughed. "You won't find better dining in Middleton."

"That explains too much about your sense of taste," Anne sighed.

"Don't be too late," her father warned. "Final exams start next week. At least you aren't going out with a boy."

Kim's pulse was racing as she waited and hoped her parents didn't see how she was dressed. She crossed her fingers and hoped there was no mission call. Kim hadn't told her parents that she would be leaving Middleton. On the other hand, she didn't know for certain where they were going to go. As soon as the rental car pulled into the driveway Kim quickly slipped out of the house without her outfit being seen.

Shego gave Kim an appreciative look as the redhead slid into the car seat. "You clean up very well," the older woman told her.

Kim blushed at the compliment. "So do you," she said honestly. Shego was in a long, dark green dress with onyx jewelry. "Where are we going?"

"Airport."

"We're going to the airport for a date?"

"No, we're going to the airport to catch a ride to New York."

"New York?"

"Yep."

"And then?"

Shego smiled, "Just leave yourself in my hands."

Kim laughed, "That doesn't sound scary anymore."

"Not even a little," Shego pouted.

"Okay, a little scary," Kim admitted.

"Good," Shego nodded, and they both laughed.

Shego ordered two glasses of white wine with dinner. "I don't drink and I'm eighteen," Kim reminded her when the waiter left.

"First, he didn't even ask – I'd have said you left your driver's license at home. I don't think they get a lot of high school kids here. Second, one glass of white wine with dinner is not going to get you drunk. I'm hoping it relaxes you just a little so you won't be prepared when I pounce."

"You're having one too."

"Yeah, I want to be relaxed if you pounce first."

The waiter brought their wine and left with their order. Shego lifted her glass, "To crime."

Kim raised her glass and softly clinked it against Shego's, "To justice."

"I hate the wine," Kim told Shego after she took a drink.

"Sip slowly. Maybe you'll like it better in a minute. What do you think of the restaurant?"

Kim looked out the window as a hundred thousand lights moved in a panorama below them as the restaurant slowly revolved. "It's incredible."

"Yeah," Shego agreed. "Hope the food is as good as the view."

They made small talk until their dinners arrived. "How's yours?" Kim asked.

"Wonderful. Yours?"

"Incredible!"

Shego quickly stuck a fork in one of Kim's shrimp. "Yes it is," she agreed after swallowing.

"Hey, that was mine!" Kim protested.

"Yeah. In Middleton you eat what you order. In New York you're allowed to share with a friend."

"So if I wanted a piece of your steak?" Shego cut off a piece of the New York strip and held it up in front of Kim. "That's really good too," Kim admitted after she swallowed.

As they rode the elevator down to the street Kim admitted, "That is probably the nicest dinner I've ever had. Thanks."

"The evening is still young," Shego told her.

"There's more?"

"Hey, when I take a girl out I show her a good time… Not that I've taken many girls out before. I…" Shego actually blushed.

Kim smiled, "I've never been out on a date with a girl before. So, what's next?"

"Dancing… Probably has a two drink minimum, but you can leave them on the table, or The Thirty-Nine Steps."

"Thirty-Nine Steps?"

"Play. Screwball comedy based on old thriller movie."

"Wow… Either sounds great."

Shego was right, two pretty women had no trouble getting into a club. Nor did they lack for invitations to the dance floor. After a couple dances, however, Kim complained, "These guys are too fresh."

Shego almost suggested Kim tell them she was only eighteen, but then realized it probably wouldn't help. "Next dance with me. We'll make it look like you aren't interested in guys."

"What?"

"I'm going to hold you real close. You're going to pretend you like it. I may even stick a tongue in your ear. Don't panic, just put your arms around me. We can try that or we can leave. Your choice."

Kim hesitated, then agreed to the plan. Shego waved away the man she had promised the next dance to with a, "Sorry, going out with my friend this time."

There was a split-second of fear as Shego's arms went around Kim and pulled her close. "You okay, Pumpkin?" Shego whispered in her ear.

The tone sounded so sincere Kim relaxed and put her own arms around Shego's waist. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's do this." She laid her head on Shego's shoulder.

Shego smiled as she inhaled the scent of Kim's strawberry shampoo. This was nice... It was too nice. Her heart started beating wildly. This felt way too good to her, what in the hell was going on? She couldn't really be enjoying this, could she? And even if she was enjoying it, Kim had just agreed to this to try and get the guys to back off a little and it didn't mean anything to the red head.

Kim found the dance equally surprising. Shego moved well, better than any of her earlier partners. It felt good to press her body against the body of the older woman. She trembled slightly in anticipation. Shego had warned she might stick her tongue in Kim's ear. The younger woman felt the older woman's breath, warm against her cheek and wondered when she might feel Shego's tongue. Kim wondered why she was panting at the end of the dance, and couldn't understand the vague sense of disappointment that Shego had not been as bold as she had warned Kim she might be.

Shego wondered if she was blushing as the dance ended. She needed a little distance from Kim to clear her head. Kim held her for a few seconds after the music ended, increasing the green woman's distress.

"You dance really well," Kim complimented Shego as she let go.

"I… Thanks…"

"Think it will be enough," the redhead asked. "Should we try again?" Kim couldn't believe the words coming out of her own mouth. Shego was her enemy. It had been wrong to enjoy being in her arms.

They stayed another half hour, and danced together two more times. Shego's sense of fear only increased with more contact, and Kim's uncertainty. The redhead finally admitted to herself she enjoyed having Shego's arms around her, and wondered what it meant to the older woman.

"We got to get out of here," Shego croaked at the end of their third dance together.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes… No… Too hot and stuffy… Not used to crowds… Sorry."

"That's okay. Let's go," Kim said. The street was dark and slightly cooler than the club as they emerged into the night air. "It's been a lot of fun," the cheerleader told the green woman.

"I, uh, had another possible idea to end the evening," Shego told her.

"What was that?" Kim asked, wondering why her pulse was racing.

"I was… Want a walk through Central Park?"

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"For a couple adrenaline junkies like us? If a mugger finds us my money's on you."

Kim didn't normally go looking for trouble, but prolonging the evening sounded surprisingly good. "Sure."

They had hardly gone twenty yards before they were accosted. "What are you two doing here?" the older of the two policemen asked.

"Taking a walk," Kim answered.

"This is a great park, but maybe you want to come back during the day. At night there are some spots that aren't as safe."

"We're decoys," Shego lied. "Didn't they tell you we'd be working the park tonight?"

"Decoys? What precinct? No one told us about a decoy detail. Let me see your badges."

"My friend and I are both black belts. We're not here to show our badges, now let us do our job and you should go back to yours."

"What do we do?" the younger officer whispered.

"I don't believe 'em, but there's no crime against being stupid or we'd have to lock up half the city."

"Impersonating police officers?"

"You get that on tape? I didn't."

"I think the two of you need to go home," the senior officer growled.

"I think we need a little stroll first," Shego told him as she and a reluctant Kim walked around them and proceeded down a path.

"Don't like ignoring the police, but it is a beautiful night for a walk," Kim commented, and took hold of Shego's hand.

"_What's she doing?"_ Shego thought. _"Is this just act to make us look like stupid targets?"_

If it had been an act it was certainly effective. Shego was too distracted to notice the sudden approach of the man with the knife. "Your money! Now!" he barked.

The two women turned to face their attacker. "Got a quarter, Princess."

"I don't want your fucking change! Your money!"

"I've got a quarter," Kim said and opened her clutch.

"You're not getting our money, Shithead. We're flipping a coin to see who gets to knock the crap out of you. I call heads."

The angry mugger hesitated for a moment, wondering which of the two women he should slash as the coin arched into the air. He made the mistake of looking at the coin. He didn't even see Shego's hand as she knocked his hand with the knife aside. He saw the knee coming at his groin, but had no time to dodge. His short scream was heard by the police, who came running. As he doubled over in pain Shego hit him in the jaw with her right fist. It was not enough to knock him out, but as he continued his way toward the ground her knee added injury to the earlier insult by slamming into his jaw, knocking him unconscious.

As the police arrived they heard Kim's accusation, "Cheater."

"You snooze, you lose, Princess."

"What happened?" one officer demanded.

"She said we'd flip a coin to see who could take the first mugger, and while I was flipping the coin she knocked him out!"

"I meant, what happened with the guy lying on the ground here."

"Oh, he tried to mug us," Kim explained simply. She turned to Shego, "Did you see what happened to the knife?"

The green woman walked a few feet from the sidewalk, "Over here," she called.

The younger officer finished cuffing the suspect and rolled him over, "Hey, this guy is wanted."

"Can't imagine who would want a scumbag like that," Shego said dryly. "Guess there's no accounting for taste. Now if you'll excuse us, Princess and I want to continue our walk."

"Can I warn you about muggers?" the older officer sighed.

"Can you recommend a path that's considered particularly unsafe?" Kim asked cheerily. "It's my turn."

"I wouldn't go that way," the younger officer warned, pointing towards the right. "There's a patch with a lot of brush near the sidewalk."

"Damn rookie," the older officer muttered under his breath as the two women headed in the direction they had just been warned against going.

It was several minutes before shouts for help brought the officers running again.

"She's going to kill me with that heel," the man on the ground pleaded with the officers.

"Princess here doesn't like to knock people out," Shego explained. "So I figured a little pressure on the kidneys would keep him from moving too much. I offered to knock him out myself – but he said he'd rather call you over to arrest him." She applied a little pressure and got a groan of pain from the man on the ground, "Right?"

"I tried to mug them. Honest. I tried to mug them. Put the cuffs on me, arrest me, please."

Despite the promising start to the evening there was only one other attempted mugging, although it was a gang of five, but they walked on the quiet pathways and chatted until deep into the night.

"I'd better get you home," Shego finally yawned, "it's getting way late and one of us needs to be a responsible adult."

Kim giggled, "You haven't had much practice with that, have you?"

"Seriously, I don't want my Princess turning into a Pumpkin."

"Okay," Kim agreed reluctantly, "but this has been wonderful, thanks."

If Shego had imagined Kim would nap on the flight back to Middleton she was mistaken. The younger woman wanted to re-live every bite of the meal, the view from restaurant, the dancing, and the walk in Central Park.

Finally, Shego gently put a hand over Kim's mouth. "Does this ever stop moving?"

"Not when I'm excited… or tired… You're really getting a double-dose. Your own fault for keeping me out so late – no one to blame but yourself."

"Always my fault, is that the way it is?"

Kim grinned, "Exactly." The redhead was a whirl of conflicting emotions. Part of her knew she was coming home way too late and would be in trouble with her parents. Part of her didn't want the night to ever end. She couldn't understand what she was feeling about the green woman. Was it just gratitude? There had been a thrill that was more than gratitude when the older woman put her arms around Kim. Maybe it was just the romantic setting, but they were away from the club and Kim still wanted to feel Shego's arms. Kim wanted to taste Shego's lips against her own, she knew in her heart it was wrong, but she wanted the evening to end with a long, deep kiss.

Shego was feeling equally confused and conflicted. What in the hell was this kid doing to her head. Shego had dated a couple girls as well as guys back in high school and done a little experimenting. But Kim was her enemy. Was Kim playing some kind of mind games with her? That didn't seem like the redhead's style. One glass of wine, but that was hours ago. The teen was not drunk. Obviously the kid was just tired and giddy from the date... It had been fun. That had to be it. Maybe Shego should play along... How far was Kim willing to go to... _"Bad idea! Bad idea!"_ Shego screamed at herself in her mind. _"You don't want to risk any emotional attachment to your enemy."_

They landed in Middleton and Shego opened the car door for Kim. "Thanks," the redhead yawned, then quickly slid over to the driver's side and out the door, then held the door open for Shego to get in.

"You're silly," Shego told the cheerleader as she got behind the wheel. "You need to get to bed."

"Umm, sounds like a great idea," Kim purred as she closed the car door. She blushed as she went back to the passenger side of the car. What was she doing? A double-entendre? To Shego? Kim's heart was racing as Shego drove her home. She chatted inanely in the vain hope that talking would keep her mind from the fact she wanted the date to end with a kiss.

The green woman pulled into the Possible driveway. "Okay Pumpkin, you're home."

"Turn off the engine."

"Why?" Shego asked, as she complied with the request.

"So we can talk for a minute."

"You've been talking non-stop for more than half an hour. All I do is listen."

Kim took a deep breath, this was an adrenaline rush like she couldn't remember, she had never felt as excited - and terrified - as she did that minute. "Well, there's a good way to get me to shut up," she said softly and leaned very slightly toward Shego.

"What's that?" the older woman demanded. _"What is she doing? Why doesn't she go in the house? She can't mean what that sounded like."_ Unconsciously she leaned slightly toward Kim, her heart pounding.

"Find something else for my lips to do," Kim suggested in a breathy whisper, leaning even closer.

"I don't..." Shego croaked, her mouth suddenly dry. She was still trying to fight the feeling, telling herself she didn't want to kiss Kim, but as she stared at Kim's lips she realized she did. "This was just..." She leaned closer, she could feel Kim's breath warm against her cheek.

"You wouldn't want a date like that to end on a handshake, would you?" Kim purred. Their lips were inches apart. Their eyes started to close. Two hearts were beating wildly, frightened and thrilled in equal measure. Kim could feel the heat from Shego's lips before they touched her own.

Suddenly the light over the garage door snapped on. Startled, Kim and Shego jerked back as the front door open and James Possible stepped outside, "Kimberly Ann Possible, where have you been?"

Blushing furiously Kim quickly hopped from the car as Shego turned the key in the ignition. As Kim slammed the car door shut the green woman put the car in reverse and sped back into the street, she shifted into drive and tires squealed as she peeled away from the scene and Kim went into the house.


	8. Grounded

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Grounded**

_"It isn't fair!" _Kim thought as she lay on her bed and stared up at the ceiling. She was eighteen. She'd stayed out later with Ron when she was saving the world. _"Was it because I was out with Shego?"_ "I didn't know we were going out of town!" she had argued. Her parents pointed out she owned a cell phone. She could have called or texted to alert them she had left the state.

Not that she had a cell phone, or even her Kimmunicator at the moment. Her mother had them both.

"What if I need to save the world or something," Kim had argued.

"I will talk with Wade if he calls," Anne told her daughter. "There are other capable people in the world you know. We left you your computer so you could do school work, but please do not abuse that."

"And final exams are next week," your father reminded her. "You should be studying instead of running off to New York until three in the morning."

Kim had trouble studying for her final exams. In part she couldn't generate extra effort because she felt prepared. Ron came by to study for the history test and Kim felt like she knew all the material. She did feel slightly nervous studying with Monique for English Lit; they were both convinced the teacher suffered from moderate insanity and had no idea what he might demand for an essay. The other impediment to her studies was the fact she couldn't get her date with Shego out of her mind. Part of her still wanted to know what it would be like to kiss the green woman, and part of her wondered why the idea was burned so deeply into her imagination.

On Tuesday evening Kim found her mother moving a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer. "Can we talk?"

"Certainly, but if it's about the grounding your father and I are not going to change that."

"No, it's... I... Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"What?"

"I mean, like really kissed, you know."

"Why are you asking this? Were you kissing Shego the other night?"

"No, we didn't kiss, but I was thinking about it. The night was really romantic and we might have, but we didn't. And I'm still thinking about it and... Am I normal?"

"Kim, would you look at the things you've done with your life and say you're normal or not?"

"That's not what I mean, Mom."

"Go put on the kettle for a couple cups of tea. I'll be in the kitchen as soon as I hang these shirts up."

Anne Possible took a few minutes to think before going to the kitchen. She took a sip of tea, then addressed her daughter, "It seems to me you are asking two different, although perhaps related questions. First, it is normal for one woman to kiss another. The second question is whether it can be normal for Kim Possible to want to kiss Shego."

Kim thought a few seconds. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I'll address the first one first. Now remember, I'm a brain surgeon, not a psychiatrist. Some of our ideas of human sexuality come from the nineteenth century when there was a lot of bad science being advanced in the thrill of trying to find something new. They had some dreadful ideas about race, and their ideas on sex weren't much better. They invented the word homosexuality and saw everything in black-and-white terms and declared homosexuality a mental illness. We now know things aren't so clear and–"

"Wait, no homosexuality before the nineteenth century?"

"No word homosexuality. Same gender sex goes back as far as we-"

"I was just asking about a kiss."

Anne sighed, "I'm laying a foundation here."

"Sorry, Mom."

"We still don't know exactly what causes some people to make the sexual preferences they do, and some people have strong sexual preferences one way or the other, while other people can love both men and women. Oh, and same-sex intercourse doesn't necessarily mean homosexuality."

"I just asked about kissing, remember."

"I'm trying to answer the first question. Human sexuality is complicated, but attraction to someone of the same sex is not a mental illness. They can be as mentally healthy, or as sick, as anyone else in society. So, answer to first question. If two women, or two men, love each other and want to kiss it would be normal."

"What if one woman wanted to kiss another, but the other woman didn't want to kiss her?"

"Are we moving to the second question, Kim and Shego?"

"I guess. I'm not sure."

"Could you tell that Shego didn't want to kiss you?" Anne asked, hoping it to be the case.

"I don't know. I was kinda scared. And I think she was as scared as I was. But I think we were just about the kiss - and then Dad turned on the garage light and she got out of there fast."

"Why do you think the two of you were scared?"

"We've been enemies. We've tried to hurt each other."

"Do you think this could have been a trick of some kind to trap or hurt you?"

"I don't think so. I think she was as nervous as I felt."

"I have to ask this, could she have drugged you in any way? Did you have anything unusual to eat or drink?"

"I, uh, had a glass of wine with dinner."

"You're only eighteen."

"Shego ordered it and-"

"This was a real restaurant?"

"Yes."

"Only one glass? A wine glass, I assume."

"Yeah, one glass with dinner."

"And how long was this before you felt like kissing her?"

"I'm not sure. A few hours. The idea just kind of came into my head and grew. It was just a really romantic evening - dinner, dancing, then a walk in the moonlight. I think that was more of what was happening than the glass of wine."

"You're probably right about that. I suspect... Maybe that should be I _hope_ it was just a romantic evening that put the idea in your head and you'll get over it."

"I'm still thinking about it."

"Have you ever had a more romantic evening?"

"No."

"Hopefully you'll get over it. By the time your grounding is over you should have some perspective."

"But if I still feel like I want to kiss her?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Feel better now?"

"I guess so... Mom, you didn't answer my question."

"What question was that?"

"Have you kissed a girl?"

Anne chuckled slightly, "I'm not sure."

"What do you mean, you're not sure?"

"Killer exams the first semester of first year medical school. My room mate and I celebrated the end of exams by getting drunk. We woke up naked the next day in her bed, with no memory of what happened. I've never been drunk since that night. We were so traumatized by the incident we never spoke of it and I said yes to the first man who proposed." Anne laughed at Kim's shocked expression, "It was three years later when your father proposed - and my saying yes had nothing to with the night I got drunk."

"Oh, I thought... Sorry."

"Just teasing you. Now, did that answer your question?"

"Yes, thanks. So if I kiss Shego I'll probably find I don't really like it?"

"That wasn't what I said. I think you and Shego had a romantic evening and you believe a romantic evening should end with a perfect kiss. I think both you and Shego realize that is probably not a good idea given your past history and I hope that, after a couple days, you'll both be glad you didn't kiss each other. Much better to realize that on your own than waking up in bed with another woman and a splitting headache."

While Kim felt better from having someone to talk with it did not resolve all her questions. She still didn't know what would happen if she kissed Shego. Maybe the feeling would pass the way her mother hoped, or maybe it wouldn't.

Out at Drakken's lair Shego had no one to talk with and her frustrations tended to manifest themselves with irritability and anger. Some of the anger was directed at Kim. "_This has got to be some kind of trap. She's only eighteen. Eighteen is legal. Legal doesn't mean right or a good idea. This has got to be some kind of mind game she's playing, I won't fall for it. Why in the hell doesn't she call? The least she could do it call and say thanks after a night like that."_ Some of the anger was directed at herself, she couldn't get the image out of her head, Kim leaning toward her in the car - inviting Shego to find something else for her lips to do besides talk. Why was she so fixated with an enemy? She considered herself a reasonable person, and a crush on Kim Possible was simply crazy. At least at the lair Shego had outlets for her anger and frustration. Fully twenty-five percent of Drakken's henchmen were on the injured reserve list, with half using vacation time and sick leave to avoid the lair. The remaining quarter were very good at agreeing with whatever Shego said without question and eager to obey her slightest whim. The green woman was beginning to find the level of obsequiousness grating and planned to hit the next man who thanked her for snarling at him or offered to fetch her sunlamp, a magazine, or anything else she might want.

In order to avoid the bloodletting Drakken locked himself in the lab, claiming he did not want to be disturbed while at work. After three days of watching puppy and kitten videos on YouTube he actually had an idea for a device to render opponents helpless and began construction.

* * *

"It's not the same without Shego," Ron remarked, and helped himself to a piece of squid. "No offense," he told Monique.

"I may take offense anyway," Monique told him, and dipped a piece of calamari in the sauce. "What do you think, Tara?"

"Ron was just saying it was different, he wouldn't say anything bad about anyone," the blond girl said loyally.

"It is different," Kim said glumly and took a drink of Coke.

"Cheer up KP, at least your grounding is over," Ron told her.

"And final exams. Where are you going to college?" Tara said to the two women sitting on the other side of the booth.

"I got a sweet scholarship to Harvard," Monique said. "Boston here I come. Kim, have you made up your mind yet?"

"No, it's the pits," the redhead told them.

"Man, I wouldn't mind your problem," Ron commented. "It's like, every place in the country wants you. You said you even got acceptance letters to schools you hadn't applied to?"

"Yep - with scholarship offers."

"And me, just struggling along to get in anywhere," he sighed. "It's like everyone wants Kim Possible and no one even knows that guy who loses his pants."

"Did you consider your GPA might be a factor?" Monique asked him.

"Nah, 'cause then I'd have to admit I goofed off. I'm going to get serious at MCC this fall."

"What are you doing," Kim asked Tara.

"I'll be at MCC too. My grades weren't that great either. What are you going to do?"

"Probably visit a bunch of the schools. I dunno. I've been working so hard in high school and suddenly it's over and I'm not sure what I want now."

Ron swallowed, "What you need is a good mission to get the adrenaline going."

"I don't feel like a mission. I just feel... bleh."

"Have you talked with Shego?" Tara asked timidly.

"I'm not good enough for you?" Monique sniffed.

"Sorry, I–"

"I'm joking," the black woman told her. "Seriously though, Kim. What happened? It was almost like you and Shego were really dating there for awhile and then, *bam*. She dump you when you got grounded or something?"

Kim knew Monique was still joking, but she didn't feel like laughing. "I don't know... We really were getting along and then... I'd rather not talk about it."

"Have you tried to call her?" Ron asked.

"Hey, she didn't try to call me."

"How do you know? You didn't have your phone for awhile there."

"Just drop it, please."

Her friends dropped it. "Let's get back to college," Monique suggested. "Gonna visit your top options? But if you want to drag your dearest friend in the world along to check out those gorgeous college hunks, but I happen to know she's gonna be busy at Club Banana."

"Nah, KP's dearest friend doesn't work at Club Banana," Ron corrected her. "And he doesn't like looking at college hunks."

"You're staying here with me," Tara told him firmly. "We have meals lined up to cook."

"Hey, if Kim needs me for a mission, I have to go."

Tara considered crying to see if Ron would relent, but thought better of it. Kim had been his friend since pre-school and demanding he chose between her and Kim would make her look jealous and manipulative. There was also a good chance he would chose Kim. Tara looked across the table at Kim. Kim was also her friend, and the redhead's work was important. "You're right," she told him. "I just don't want to disappoint anyone."

"I understand," Kim told her. "I won't ask him to help unless it's important."

Kim's next three missions were all small and could have been handled by herself - although two of them came up while Ron had no cooking commitments and came along anyway. Tara fought her jealousy and tried to be supportive - she reminded herself that once fall came Kim would be away at college and she'd have Ron for herself.

* * *

"Vacuum tubes?" Shego asked in disbelief. "Are you building a time machine to go back to the fifties? It's embarrassing to have to steal something like that."

"They are more efficient for my new weapon."

"And exactly what does your retro doohickey do?"

"Well, in theory it should incapacitate any-"

"In theory? Can you be a little more positive?"

"Not until we get the vacuum tube I need."

"Fine. Let's get this over with."

"You seem to be missing your customary joie de' vivre."

"Whatever. Let's steal the damn part."

"I mean, when we were giving Kim Possible the runaround you-"

"Shut up. Do you want the part or not?"

Drakken swallowed, "Sorry. Let's get the part."

Kim's Kimmunicator beeped, "What's the sitch?"

"Looks like Drakken and Shego breaking into an electronics warehouse. It's not far, call Ron and I'll-"

"I don't need Ron for this."

"Drakken and Shego. Your auction thing is over, you need backup."

"I don't... I'll call Ron." Part of her knew Wade was right. Part of her hoped Ron was busy.

"Good girl Kim."

To Wade's relief Ron was available. Kim seemed unusually quiet as they rode to the warehouse. "Gonna be a little weird, huh, KP?"

Startled from her thoughts Kim asked, "What?"

"Going up against Shego and Drakken - especially Shego - after the last couple months."

"Yeah... Yeah, it will be. Thanks for... Thanks for everything."

"No problem Kim, you know I'll always be here when you need me."

It was the first time he'd seen her smile that day. "Thanks."

Drakken threw another box to the side, punctuated by the sound of some of the tubes breaking as the box hit the floor.

"Still haven't found them?" Shego asked.

"No, and you could try helping me find what I need rather than making sarcastic commentary."

"Hey, you know what you need and you can't find them. What chance do I have?"

"I told you, serial number six-vee-twelve-bee-"

"Shut up!"

"I was just-"

"I hear something. Someone came in downstairs - I'll check it out."

* * *

"I don't see them," Ron told Kim.

"This is big. There's a second floor, but we should check this floor out carefully first."

"Okay, I'll look here in shipping and you-"

"He's not there," an angry voice snarled. Familiar green plasma flowed around Shego's hands and she confronted the pair. "Why didn't you call me?" She threw a punch at Kim.

The cheerleader was surprised, it was a solid punch and would have hurt badly if it had landed. Fortunately her self-preservation instinct kicked in and she avoided the green woman's fury. "Find Drakken," she hissed at Ron. "I was grounded," she told Shego, aiming a kick at the other woman's head. "My parents took my phone."

Shego ducked beneath Kim's foot and threw a ball of plasma at the cheerleader, "Likely story," she grunted.

Kim twisted to one side, "You could have called me," she said, swinging at the older woman's face.

Shego deflected Kim's hook with her left arm as she swung at Kim with her right hand, "If you don't have a phone - how do you know I didn't?"

"Checked incoming calls when they gave it back, OUCH!" Kim avoided most of the blow, but it still clipped her cheek slightly. Her leg swept out and forced Shego off balance as she knocked her opponent's left leg to the side.

Shego stumbled back, trying to regain position. "If you have your phone back - you could have tried to call!" She grabbed a box and threw it at Kim.

Kim ducked beneath the box with its roll of bubble wrap for shipping inside and tried to tackle Shego. "If you'd tried to call me, I would have."

Kim had not realized how light the box had been and counted on Shego being off balance after throwing it, but the green woman had already recovered and jumped into the air. "You owed me a call! I took you out!"

"I didn't have a phone, remember!" Kim shouted as she rolled out of her missed tackle and whirled to confront the older woman. "I couldn't call!"

On the upper level a jubilant blue man called, "Ah hah!" as he pulled a carton open and took out a small box containing the required tube.

"Not so fast, Drakken," Ron called.

The blond man began running toward him and Drakken struggled frantically to get the tube into the device he was holding. Ron was within four feet as the mad scientist hit the switch.

It worked even better than Drakken had dared to hope. Fortunately he managed to shelter it with his arms as he and Ron fell to the floor.

"What is that," Ron groaned.

"My newest device to incapacitate my enemies," Drakken gloated.

"Sure works. I feel like if I move at all I'm... I'm not going to move, no way, no how."

"Are you as dizzy as I am?"

"You're dizzy too? Not much of a weapon if it affects you too."

"I have something with me, I just didn't have my protection on. I wasn't planning on you and... I assume you came with Kim Possible."

"Yeah, she's fighting Shego on the first floor."

"Not if they feel like we do right now."

"Good point," Ron agreed.

Slowly, very slowly because any fast movement created overwhelming waves of nausea, Drakken fumbled in a pocket of his lab coat and extracted a set of headphones. With the same glacial pace he slowly and painfully moved them towards his head.

On the floor below Kim and Shego lay on the floor a few feet from each other.

"Drakken's device?"

"I don't know. Probably. He either didn't tell me what it would do or I... I think he said something about incapacitating an enemy."

"Seems to work."

"Sure does. Think I'll kill him for not giving me any kind of... Wonder if he's got any kind of protection?"

"I'd give him a fifty-fifty chance on that."

"You're being generous, Princess."

Kim very slowly tried to move, fighting the feeling of sickness that came with the slightest motion. She could fight this. She felt certain she could get to her knees and get to her feet. And then what? She'd be so busy battling the demons of her inner ear she wouldn't have the strength to battle a baby duckling. Bowing to the inevitable she lay back. "Shego?"

"Yes?" the green woman snarled.

"Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not ang... Hey, the least you could have done was call."

"I didn't have my phone. My parents grounded me, remember?"

There were several seconds of silence. "Because you were out with me?"

"I... I don't think so. I mean, they knew I was out with you. They said I should have told them we were leaving the state and warned them about how late I'd be."

"That's my fault."

"No, it's my fault. I could have texted when you said we were going to New York. I just... I was having so much fun I couldn't think of anything else. That was so amazing I... Well, anyway, not your fault I was grounded. Why didn't you call me?"

"You owed me. I took you out. If you didn't want to call me after I... Anyway, you owed me. If you got your phone back why didn't you call?"

"I didn't know what to say."

"You didn't know what to say? What do you mean, you didn't know what to say? Did you have a good time? Did you-"

"Yes, I had a good time!"

"And you couldn't even say thank you?"

"Look, being with you was great. It was incredible. It was... It was weird. I felt... I feel... I'm confused. But I really, really wanted to see you again and–"

"And so you ignored me."

"You're twisting my words."

"I'm sorry, I thought I was summing up exactly what you said." Shego didn't know what to think. She rejoiced that Kim said she'd enjoyed the evening. So why was Kim feeling weird and confused? Probably because she realized her offer to kiss Shego was a mistake brought on by being tired after a night on the town. The teen probably wasn't trying to tease, she'd been carried along by the moment and regretted it now that she'd had more time to think. Shego wished she could work through it the way Kim had, but she wanted to hold the cheerleader in her arms, their lips crushed together as their tongues explored each other's mouths... "Damn it! Get out of my head!"

"What?"

"Uh... This dizzy feeling."

"Oh... Shego?"

"Yes?"

"I, uh, really liked being with you. Did you like being with me?"

There was a few seconds of silence. "Yeah. Surprised the hell out of me."

Kim laughed, "Me too. We could have really been... but... Well... circumstances."

"Circumstances suck. So does lying here helpless."

They laughed. Shego asked Kim about her college plans. Kim was discussing the top schools on her list when they heard Drakken bellow, "Shego! Shego I'm looking for you."

"Over here," Shego called, "I'm by the-"

"I can't hear you if you're trying to say anything," he called. "These ear protectors are like being deaf. Just letting you... Can you clap or stamp your... Oh wait, I couldn't hear that either. Well, just letting you know I'm looking for you."

He found them a few minutes later and said a few words to Shego before putting the ear protectors on her. "Sorry, I didn't know it would take so long to find the tubes. Well, anyway, I grabbed some spares. Let's get out of here."

He slipped the ear protectors on Shego and motioned for her to follow him. She shook her head no, and he looked puzzled. She pointed at Kim. He still looked puzzled. Shego found a roll of packing tape and made a wrapping motion. Drakken nodded his head yes.

"Sorry, Princess," Shego apologized as she gently wrapped the tape around Kim's legs a few times. She moved up to Kim's arms and crossed Kim's wrists, apologizing again as the movement made Kim feel ill. She wrapped the tape a few times around Kim's wrists. "I don't know when he's going to turn his device off, and I don't know what the range is, but I don't feel like fighting you again today."

Kim smiled up at her. Shego could not hear Kim say, "I don't feel like fighting you either," but the green woman smiled back and fought the urge to kiss Kim as the redhead lay helpless. The green woman rose to her feet and gestured, 'Let's go' to Drakken.

The cheerleader wasn't certain, but she thought she had seen tears in the green woman's eyes as she bound Kim's arms and legs.

Perhaps a mile from the warehouse Drakken waved wildly to attract Shego's attention. He pointed at his device and made a grand gesture of turning it off, then took off his ear protectors so she would know she could take hers off. "Well," he demanded, "will you admit I'm brilliant?"

"It worked," she shrugged. "It'll help you steal stuff. It's not going to let you take over the world. And after you use it once or twice someone will figure out ear protection and it'll be useless for any big plans."

"Why must you always discourage me?"

"Because it's not fun anymore."

"No fun?"

"That's why I signed on. Join Drakken and take over the world. It was exciting. It was an adventure. It was a challenge. Now it's just watching you find new ways to fail. When you get something that works it's something silly like those stupid cowboy hats to stroke your own ego, or this thing that will help you rob convenience stores, or if you stumble on a big plan the cheerleader stops you."'

"I-"

"I quit."

"You can't quit. We have a deal."

"Sue me."

"But what will you do?"

"I don't know. Right this second, I don't care. I want options and staying with you is a dead end."

"I have contacts! You'll never work for another villain! I won't give you a letter of recommendation."

"Don't want one. Just want to spend some time on a beach thinking."

"You will! You're wanted in eleven countries. All you know is evil. You'll come crawling back to-"

"I'd knock off the crawling part if you want to survive long enough to get back to the lair."

He stopped talking, but he told himself she wouldn't really leave. And after they got back to the lair and she left he dared to tell the henchmen she'd be crawling back in a day, or the next day, or the next week.


	9. Of All the Taco Joints in All the World

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Of all the taco joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walked into mine**

Tara experienced a moment of panic when Ron said he needed to talk with Kim, alone. She reminded herself the two had been friends forever, Kim was her friend, and would be leaving for school soon. "Okay, but I'll miss you. You aren't dumping me, are you?"

"Dumping you?" Ron asked, puzzled. He still didn't realize Tara had come to regard him as her property.

* * *

"Why are we here?" he asked Kim as they slid into a battered booth at the Middleton A&W. "I love Bueno Nacho, and we both like Corinth."

"I just didn't feel like either one. What's cooking with you and Tara?"

"I can't believe the way she's finding places for us to cook! I'm saving money like there's no tomorrow! I'm thinking wheels, but mom and dad say I should be saving for–"

"Not what's cooking literally. What's going on with you two?"

"We're just partners."

"Just partners? And that time you stopped by with the lipstick on your face."

"Uh, sometimes she gets a little carried away."

Kim chuckled and patted him on the cheek. "I love you like a brother, but sometimes you're kinda clueless."

"What?"

"Never mind," Kim sighed and sipped root beer. "At least you're happy."

"You don't seem happy. Is it the amount of time I'm spending with Tara?"

"No. No problem with you and Tara. I'm okay."

"Are you sure you're okay, KP?" Ron asked. "I know I've been spending a lot of time with Tara, but–"

"I'm fine! Or at least I will be, if you and Monique get off my back."

"We're concerned about you. We both see you're stressed out."

"I'm not stressed out! Will you please stop... It's that obvious?"

"Obvious to your friends. Heck, I'll bet even Bonnie could tell. Monique said we should try some sort of intervention, but that's too reality television."

Kim groaned, "Did she say what kind of an intervention she thought I needed?"

She thinks it's because you haven't picked a college yet... You haven't picked one yet, have you?"

"No, she's right. That might be a reason."

"A reason, like the only reason or a reason like there could be others, 'cause my money was on what Shego said."

"You've talked with Shego? When? What did she say?" Kim asked eagerly.

"I haven't talked with... I mean, not since that last fight. I meant when we were eating calamari that one night and she called you an adrenaline junkie. That was what I meant. I figure it's like three weeks since you've had any kind of mission to get the old heart pounding."

Kim sighed and fiddled with her straw. "Okay, I'm stressed. I don't know where I'll start college this fall – and I should – but I just can't seem to focus. I don't have any energy and haven't had any exciting missions lately, but I don't think that's the problem... I'd really like to see Shego again."

"See Shego... As in fight her?"

"No, Ron, not the adrenaline thing. Not fighting adrenaline thing anyway. It's just that after the auction... I know this sounds weird, but I liked being with her on missions. I thought we worked very well together. It was fun just sitting and talking with her after we came back. And that last time I saw her and we fought... I don't know... I don't think she really wanted to fight."

"She sounded pretty pissed off with you when I was there."

"Well, she started angry. Then after we were both laying there helpless we did some talking. We opened up and... and then Drakken came and she left."

"Has he said anything about what happened to her?"

"Not that I know. There're those video tapes of him doing a couple robberies without her, then he got arrested. She hasn't tried to bust him out of jail."

"Wade hasn't heard anything either?"

"Nope."

Ron sighed. "It was fun sitting, eating with her after you two went on a mission. Kim, I'm going to say something I thought I'd never say–"

"Mr. Barkin is a genius?"

"Don't break the mood KP, I'm being serious. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?"

"Sorry."

"You need to find Shego."

"You've said that before."

"Yeah, but it was always find Shego and stop her, or get back what she stole. This is, 'you need to find her and talk with her'."

"I don't know where she is!"

"That's why I said find her. First things first. Can't talk first then find, have to find first, then talk."

"So you think I need to talk with her?"

"Pretty obvious. The two of you get along fine. She takes you out for a fancy dinner... Am I ever going to get the full story on that?"

"I told you what we did."

Ron suspected there was more. "Anyway, you get home, get grounded, and the next time you meet she's so mad at you for not calling her she tries to take your head off. The two of you fight. She drops out of sight, and now you're this moody and depressed zombie. Shego's mad and missing. You're upset 'cause you haven't seen her. Looks obvious to me."

Kim looked across the booth at Ron for a few seconds. "You're right. I need to find her and talk with her. Thanks." She smiled broadly. "I feel better."

"Uh, Kim, after what I just said, and you agreeing and thanking me, can I ask something that may sound really stupid?"

"Right this second I think you're brilliant. What's the question?"

"Why do you need to see her and talk with her? I mean, I can tell you want to, but what are you going to say?"

Kim looked away from Ron and through the window out at the parking lot. "I don't know," she said softly. "I don't know what I want to say to her. I don't know what I want to hear her say to me. It just feels important to me to talk with her. I want her to know I had fun when we were together. I want her to know I'm sorry about not calling her... I don't know what I want – except I don't want that fight to be the last time we see each other."

"Weird," Ron said softly.

"Yeah, weird," she agreed.

"But a hero's gotta do what a hero's gotta do," he reminded her. "And what this hero has gotta do is pick her college. I swear, you don't move it and you'll be stuck here with me and Tara at Middleton Community College."

"Monique told you to tell me that, didn't she?"

"Hey, I agreed."

Kim had plenty of offers for rides from alumni of different schools. She planned a few days of college visits on the West Coast, but talked with Wade before she left.

"I need you to find Shego... You don't think anything bad could have happened to her, do you? Do you think that was why she wasn't with Drakken?"

"I'm not a psychic. I work with facts. I have no idea what might have happened."

"Have you been looking for her?"

"No, not really. I don't go looking for trouble. I haven't seen any mention of her in what I've seen."

"Can you use... What's it called, some kind of program that looks for people on security cameras?"

"Facial recognition software. I can try, but some security cameras aren't high enough resolution to be any good - and security monitors aren't everywhere, and some are strictly closed systems and I can't access them."

"Try, Wade, if anyone can do it, it's you. I really need to talk with her."

"I'll do my best, but if she's on a beach somewhere, or in prison, or-"

"Prison? Could she be in prison somewhere?"

"Most countries would report her as a prisoner. I was just trying to say there are places where there aren't any cameras connected to the internet."

_"This is crazy,"_ Kim thought as she toured the campus of one of the California colleges. _"I need to focus on college. Why am I thinking about Shego?"_

"Uh, Ms Possible?" the student leading the group of potential students asked again.

"Oh... Sorry. What?"

"I asked if there was any department you wanted to see in particular before we hit the library and have lunch."

"No... I'm fine. Library sounds good."

The student guide wasn't sure why she'd been told to pay extra attention to the redhead in the group. The girl appeared zoned out.

Kim placed her usual call to Wade that evening, "Anything?"

The young man hesitated, "Had a maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Intersection cam in Go City to catch people running red lights. There was someone on the sidewalk who might have been Shego."

The news excited Kim, "That's where she comes from."

"Yeah, but the quality wasn't good enough to be certain it was her. And even if it was her, was she just in town on business or does she do something near there?"

"On the sidewalk, not in a car?"

"She could have been parked in an alley after driving two hundred miles. And your next question will be if I'm watching the area to see if I can spot the woman again, and the answer is yes."

"You rock, Wade."

"It might be her. Don't know for sure, and doesn't mean she's a regular around that area."

"Still the first news in a month."

"True."

Kim spent the next hour thinking of colleges she could visit in the Go City area.

Wade focused his efforts on security cameras in a perimeter around the area of the possible sighting. He could check cameras from some businesses, but others had closed monitoring systems. A woman walking on the sidewalk the next day, away from the traffic camera, might have been the same woman whose face was briefly seen in the previous day's image - but it was hard to be certain, and impossible to verify it was Shego even if it were the same woman. It was still the best lead he had and the next day found him trying to monitor more than two hundred video feeds at once from the area around the camera with the possible hit.

Kim called when she got back to Middleton, "Any news?"

Wade sighed, "I don't know. I've got a woman who might be Shego, but it just doesn't make sense for it to be Shego."

"Doesn't make sense?"

"Where she works."

"Where does she work?"

"Kim, I don't know if it's Shego. You shouldn't go running off on a maybe.

"I could check it out and make sure if it's her."

"You could waste your time with a trip if it's not."

"I leave in two days to visit some colleges around Go City." Kim told him. She wondered if she could reschedule a visit for tomorrow so she could leave in the afternoon. On the other hand her parents might like her to be home at least twenty-four hours before leaving again so they could hear about her visit to the west coast.

Wade sighed, "I'll see if I can figure this out before you get there."

Kim called Ron to ask if he wanted to celebrate. She backed away from the term 'celebrate' before he picked up his phone – there was a chance it wasn't Shego – and she didn't want Ron to know how excited she was at the idea of seeing Shego, especially when the idea scared her. "Hey, Ron, back in town. Want to go out tonight and hear about my trip to the coast?"

"Uh, sorry, KP," Ron apologized. "Tara signed us up for a math help class out at MCC. Hey, want calamari after class?"

"No, I... Yeah, that'd be great. Should I call Monique?"

"Sure, more the merrier."

Kim sighed as she hung up the phone. It would be good to see her friends, she just hoped she wouldn't be too distracted for conversation, she was certain she would be too nervous to sleep well that night.

* * *

Two days, Kim walked down a street which seemed familiar to her. She and Ron had been here a couple years earlier, when Ron went to visit the largest Bueno Nacho in the world. That had been when Kim had met Shego's brothers and she and Shego had fought Aviarus. Kim decided to take it as a good omen. She decided a mistake must have been made when she reached the address Wade had given her.

"Wade!" Kim barked into the Kimmunicator.

"What?"

"This is a Bueno Nacho. It's kind of _the_ Bueno Nacho. Shego hates Bueno Nacho - and she hates her brother."

"I told you I wasn't positive. It's the best I've got. You've been telling me to get you a location. You going to ignore it or check it out?"

"I'll check it out," Kim sighed, not feeling optimistic about the chances of finding Shego.

Kim's heart skipped a beat as she went into the store and noticed a woman behind the counter. It was Shego. Or was it? Had she been made up to look like Shego in an effort to throw off Kim's search? Kim's eyes narrowed. It was also possible that makeup and a couple prosthetics were being used to try and disguise Shego's identity. The woman looked nervous as Kim went to the counter, "Large diet cola, please."

The pale woman turned silently to get the drink.

"Is there anything you recommend on the menu?"

The woman shook her head no.

"Afraid I'll recognize your voice?"

The woman shook her head no.

The teenage boy at the next cash register looked puzzled, "What's wrong, Ms Quinzel?"

The woman glared at him.

"Are you all right? Should I get the manager?"

She pointed at her throat and shrugged, then did some pointing at the teen and at Kim and towards the back of the store to try and suggest he wait on Kim while she went back into the employees only area.

"She owes me money," Kim told the boy, "so she's pretending she doesn't know me."

"That's a lie," Shego shot back. "I've never seen you before in my life. I have witnesses."

"Can I speak with the manager?" Kim asked.

"Sure, he'll tell you that you've never... Damn. What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, obviously. Can we talk?"

"I... Sure." She turned to the boy, "Watch my register, Neal." She pointed to one side and told Kim, "Over there, through the door that says 'employees only'."

A girl was in the break room, chatting on her cell phone, when Shego and Kim walked in. Shego made a gesture of drawing her finger across her throat, a warning to cut it, now. "You heard what Lou said about my temper?"

"Yes, I-"

"You got five seconds to get out of here or you'll find out it's true." As the girl fled Shego sighed and pulled out the pieces of plastic that slightly changed the shape of her nose and cheeks. "Hate these damn things," she muttered.

"What are you doing here?" Kim demanded.

"Working, duh."

"At Bueno Nacho? You're wanted in eleven countries and you're working at Bueno Nacho?"

"It's a crappy job, but somebody's got to do it. And I'm only wanted in four countries. With any luck it might be three at the end of the week."

"I don't... How?"

"Sold my soul to that damn Betty Director. I'm probably going to end up in a Global Justice uniform rather than prison – if I don't kill Henry first."

"Henry... Hego?"

"Yeah."

"You're going straight?"

"More or less." Shego sighed. "I got tired of being wanted, tired of watching over my shoulder. I wanted options for my life again."

"Bueno Nacho?"

"Not my first choice. Turns out Henry is part-time or a consultant or something for Global Justice. They figured he had the raw power to keep an eye on me. I can dump this for a GJ uniform if they can get my legal status squared away, but it's going to take awhile. At least time with Global Justice will be more proactive than sitting around the Go Tower waiting for something to happen here in the city."

"You're going hero again?"

"Hey, if it gives me options with my life."

"Options... Are you doing this because of me?"

"Why is it always about you? I'm doing this because of me. I'm doing this for me. This is my choice. Period."

"Seems a little suspicious - you turning over a new leaf after we started doing things together."

Shego hesitated, "Okay, watching you put the idea in my head. Everyone loves a hero. Me? I thought Tara would faint or piss her pants if I said boo. The thrill of being the most dangerous woman in the world was getting kind of thin."

"So, if it's just for you - why didn't you call me and say what was happening?"

"I..."

"You know my number. Easiest thing in the world to call me. I think you're afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you!"

"And then I ask myself, why is she afraid of me?"

"I'm not afraid of you!"

"She's not afraid of my fighting skills, 'cause she won't admit I'm better than she is–"

"Are not!"

"So, if she's not afraid of me as a fighter, what is she afraid of? I think you started to get afraid when we went on missions together and a couple dates. You're scared because, deep inside, you don't know how you feel any more than I know how I feel. You don't like losing control. You don't like not knowing what's happening."

"I'm not afraid!"

"Then kiss me."

"What?"

"I said kiss me. That night you took me to New York, I wanted that to end with a kiss. You did too and-"

"I did not!"

"You did too. We were both scared. I didn't know what to say afterward - so I didn't call. You wanted me to call, so that's why you were mad."

"You're crazy."

"Then prove I'm wrong, kiss me."

"That's crazy."

"Maybe. Or maybe it'll clear things up. Maybe we'll realize it was a mistake – at least you won't have to be afraid and maybe I'll be back to normal."

"You were never–"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Shego hesitated. "What if we like it? What if one of us likes it and one of us doesn't?"

"It'll be easier if we both think it's a mistake, won't it?"

The green woman licked her lips nervously, "Yeah."

Kim moved towards the older woman. Shego cautiously moved away until her back was against the wall. The teen put her arms around Shego, "Let's see if we think this is a mistake." She pulled the older woman to her and their lips met. "Wow!" Kim commented when the kiss ended. "That was no mistake."

"Yes it is," Shego told her.

"You seemed to enjoy it," Kim commented and pulled Shego close for another kiss. Shego's arms circled Kim, holding her fiercely. Kim's tongue licked at Shego's lips and the older woman parted her lips, their tongues wrestling for dominance in a long, fierce kiss. "Still think it's a mistake?" Kim panted when they finally stopped kissing.

"It's a mistake. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy it."

"How can it be a mistake if it feels that good?"

"For one thing, you're just a kid."

"I'm eighteen."

"That's a kid. You don't know what you'll want to do in–"

"Don't look so far ahead. We may hate each other in six months. But right now," Kim pulled Shego in for another kiss.

"Global Justice may not be able to swing things for me," Shego protested at the end of the kiss. "Deal could fall through. I don't know what pound of flesh Betty will want."

"You're still looking too far ahead," Kim told her, and kissed her again.

"Damn it, Princess, stop thinking with your hormones for a minute. Has it occurred to you that Betty might be trying to trap you or something?"

Kim looked puzzled, "Trap me?"

"She wants you. You know that. Maybe this is some scam she's running."

"And if she is?"

"I don't like being used. I don't like her playing games with you."

"You're concerned about me?"

"Yes I am."

Kim grinned, "If you're trying to convince me this is a mistake, telling me you're worried about me won't get you anywhere."

"I..." Shego started to protest, then shrugged. "What the Hell, let's see where this goes." She pulled Kim close for a kiss.

"Um, everyone loves a hero," Kim purred.

* * *

**Epilogue - Four months later**

"The manager wants to see you," another employee told Shego as she clocked in for her shift at Bueno Nacho. As the green woman headed back to her brother's office the woman commented to Neal. "I don't know why he doesn't fire her for the way she talks back to him."

"Maybe she's related to someone in corporate."

"More likely a witness protection program."

Shego opened the door to her brother's office, "You wanted me?"

"Will you please knock?"

"Why, looking at porn on the internet?"

"Knocking is a common courtesy."

"I'm uncommon. Now, what did you want?"

"Doctor Director wished to speak with you."

"Oh, what did Bets want?"

"_Doctor Director _did not share why she wished to speak with you, but she did not sound happy."

"Great," Shego mumbled. "Can you clear out so I can have some privacy?"

"This is my..." Hego started to protest, then decided there was no point in arguing. "I'll go check on the employees."

"Uh, thanks, bro," Shego said sincerely. Henry really tried his best and gave Shego a lot of freedom - and she did appreciate that. Shego was also in a good mood from the night before, which was probably why Doctor Director was calling.

"Don't put your feet on my desk," Henry warned as he closed the office door.

Shego sat down in his desk chair and considered putting her feet up on the desk, but decided she didn't need any additional aggravation as she dialed Global Justice, the call should supply all she needed.

"What in the Hell do you think you're doing!" Elizabeth Director snarled when she picked up the phone.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"That vigilante work you were doing last night. Global Justice is a law enforcement agency. We can't have agents-in-training acting like loose cannons. Do you know how many times I've warned you about this?"

"Fifteen?"

"Try twenty-three."

"You're a saint. Or you really want an agent with extra powers."

"There's a trade-off. You could get more aggravating than you're worth to me. Well, punk, you feeling lucky?"

"Great Clint Eastwood," Shego chuckled, "But how do you know it was even me who-"

"Do you remember the terms you're working under?"

"Does it matter what I say? You're going to remind me anyway."

"I expect complete honesty from you about your actions. Some of those pardons are provisional or pending. You are not a free woman."

"Okay, yes it was me. I still say it was right to stop the robbery."

"Everything worked fine, last night. You've been damn lucky so far, but you can't be lucky forever. There'll be some night when it doesn't go fine. I want an asset, I don't need a liability."

"Okay, I'll sit on my asset and let crime run rampant in the streets."

"I won't dignify that with a response. Just clean up your act. Oh, and will you come out with who plays Tonto to your Lone Ranger?"

"Mystery girl?"

"That's the one."

"I've told you, she's a hero wannabe. I'm, uh, teaching her the ropes."

"Why does the phrase 'teaching her the ropes' sound kinky coming from you?"

"You have a dirty mind."

"I know it's Kim, why won't you admit it?"

"If you know it's Kim, why do you ask?"

"Because once, just once, I'd like a straight answer from you."

"I'm sorry, but a gentleman never talks about the young lady."

"You're no gentleman."

"I know, but guys are idiots. If they have enough sense to keep their mouths closed you're not hearing anything from me. Besides, mystery girl wants me to protect her secret identity."

"Just admit it's Kim; you're supposed to be honest, remember."

"I'm supposed to be honest about what I do, I don't have to rat out a friend."

"Give me her name."

"Barbara Gordon."

"God damn it, Shego, this is not a joke. You know I want Ms Possible for Global Justice. You mess that up and you'll wish you were sitting in that prison cell with Drakken." Betty Director wasn't sure how to feel. If Kim and Shego enjoyed working together it might increase the odds of recruiting the younger woman for Global Justice later. They could make a superb team. On the other hand the two were both fiercely competitive and had a long history of being enemies. They were also stubborn and would more easily accept a sidekick than an equal partner. Dr. Director could also imagine Kim refusing to consider Global Justice if Shego worked there.

"Calm down," Shego said in a soothing voice. "Believe me, I wouldn't mess things up for Kim. The kid doesn't need any pressure. She'll make her own choices."

"So you're admitting it was Kim?"

"I'm not admitting anything. We get together sometimes – doesn't prove she's mystery girl."

"There's just so much bad history for you two, seems odd."

"Yeah, guess it does. Oh, word of advice?"

"Yes?"

"If you go to an auction, be real careful who you put a bid on."

-The End-


End file.
